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HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

0 posted 2001-05-18 05:16 PM

This Juliette was bleeding,
With a sword deep in her heart.
Her Romeo had left her,
He promised they would never part.

Those were all lies,
Everything that he said.
It was just a game to him,
So lies was all he fed.

No she weeps uncontrolable,
On the shore of the sea.
Wishing he would come back to her,
For they were meant to be.

But then she look up,
Deep into the cloudy sky.
And she saw the prettiest rainbow,
And she knew she would get by.

She ripped the sword from her heart,
With tear stains on he cheeks.
Even though she is hurting now,
In the future she will not be weak.

For she knows she did nothing wrong,
For this pain she was not to blame.
She knows she is better off without him,
Without his lies and his mindgames.

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

1 posted 2001-05-18 05:55 PM

i'm so here first, except whenever i say that someone is replying at the same time and posts theirs first. anyway, you told an excellent story in this piece and i really liked the despriptions. good writing, keep sharing your work

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

2 posted 2001-05-18 11:04 PM

I'm glad to see that you're going to make it. I was gonna say what a sad poem till I got to the end part. Now, I'm more proud of you than sorry. Great write and thanks for sharing.

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-05-19 03:47 PM

Very well done here......I really found this poem to be one of your best. I loved it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-21 02:59 AM

wonderful story...great job on writing this poem...i enjoyed it a lot...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-05-21 09:32 PM

it's about strength.......excellent!

Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

6 posted 2001-05-21 10:27 PM

This was wicked wicked WICKED cooooool! I LOVE it, great work

,
Suga

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

7 posted 2001-05-22 06:33 PM

Great job, Ash! I really appreciate the scheme that you chose, and the stanza size. I notice most of your writing is done with this format in mind, perhaps you should depart from it more often?
Someday I'll talk to you and share my extensive wisdom of poetry.

See you around, kiddo.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

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