Teen Poetry #4 |
Can I Call You Love? |
DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
Can I call you love? The one who is always there? She who I will always turn to? My one and only? Can I call you love? My dearest friend? The Angel who watches over me? The one I'll somday marry? Can I call you love? She who is always by my side? The voice whom I always long to hear? The arms I always love to be near? Can I call you love? The girl whom I so adore? The girl whom I'll never leave? The one I see more beautiful than the rest? ... can I call you love? "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ |
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© Copyright 2001 Samson C. Justice - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow awesome poem!...dragon..i really liked the format and discription of your feelings..and this is a must to give to the person you wrote it for..great poem i hope you gave it to that person and keep writing ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
those are the known symptoms of love so i think you can call her love!!! lol good job *kImMiE* |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
This is SO sweet! I would say you can call her "love" *LOL* definately! Great work "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Awww!! She'll love it Bel |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
this is really sweet, it made me smile. i don't know if this is written for someone, but if it is i hope you gie it to her, i know she will love it. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is so sweet! I enjoyed it. Nice work. --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I did like this one as well, but I felt there were too many question marks for my liking. I think you should cut them out for all but the first and last lines of the stanzas, it would look a lot better and each line would lead into the next more effectively. Otherwise it harmed the flow for me that I had to treat each line as an individual question, when many were just expansions on a single question. Still, good work. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
Okie, just so everyone knows, I wrote this for my girlfriend, and had given it to her before I ever even posted it here. (side note: I always give people the poems I wrote for them). Anyway, I'm glad you all like it just trying to show that I don't ONLY do dark poetry "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
Hehe, yes DF I really like the poem. it's quite sweet of you :P (would like to make a little side note... I'm the one he wrote it for ) |
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Lovely_Kris Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 176 |
I think you did a great job on this. It sure sounds like love to me So i guess you could call it love. I hope to read more. Good luck and keep up the great work. Lovely_Kris |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey!!! Great job on the poem. I thought it was very nice! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Awww, very sweet. Nice job!!! "If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
beautiful emotions expressed. beautiful write. keep it up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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