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DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA

0 posted 2001-05-06 01:09 PM


Can I call you love?
The one who is always there?
She who I will always turn to?
My one and only?

Can I call you love?
My dearest friend?
The Angel who watches over me?
The one I'll somday marry?

Can I call you love?
She who is always by my side?
The voice whom I always long to hear?
The arms I always love to be near?

Can I call you love?
The girl whom I so adore?
The girl whom I'll never leave?
The one I see more beautiful than the rest?

... can I call you love?

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.


© Copyright 2001 Samson C. Justice - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-06 01:11 PM


wow awesome poem!...dragon..i really liked the format and discription of your feelings..and this is a must to give to the person you wrote it for..great poem
i hope you gave it to that person
and keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
2 posted 2001-05-06 01:16 PM


those are the known symptoms of love so i think you can call her love!!!  lol
         good job  
            *kImMiE*

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
3 posted 2001-05-06 01:49 PM


This is SO sweet! I would say you can call her "love" *LOL* definately! Great work  

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

4 posted 2001-05-06 02:14 PM


Awww!!  She'll love it
Bel

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
5 posted 2001-05-06 04:00 PM


this is really sweet, it made me smile.  i don't know if this is written for someone, but if it is i hope you gie it to her, i know she will love it.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
6 posted 2001-05-06 04:50 PM


This is so sweet!  I enjoyed it.  Nice work.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
7 posted 2001-05-06 05:44 PM


I did like this one as well, but I felt there were too many question marks for my liking.  I think you should cut them out for all but the first and last lines of the stanzas, it would look a lot better and each line would lead into the next more effectively.  Otherwise it harmed the flow for me that I had to treat each line as an individual question, when many were just expansions on a single question.
Still, good work.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
8 posted 2001-05-07 10:06 AM


Okie, just so everyone knows, I wrote this for my girlfriend, and had given it to her before I ever even posted it here. (side note: I always give people the poems I wrote for them). Anyway, I'm glad you all like it   just trying to show that I don't ONLY do dark poetry

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.


mistic
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.
9 posted 2001-05-07 09:16 PM


Hehe, yes DF I really like the poem.   it's quite sweet of you :P

(would like to make a little side note... I'm the one he wrote it for   )

Lovely_Kris
Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 176

10 posted 2001-05-07 09:29 PM


I think you did a great job on this. It sure sounds like love to me So i guess you could call it love. I hope to read more. Good luck and keep up the great work.
Lovely_Kris

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
11 posted 2001-05-13 06:35 PM


Hey!!! Great job on the poem.
I thought it was very nice!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Jenn Cirrincione
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Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
12 posted 2001-05-13 06:44 PM


Awww, very sweet. Nice job!!!

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
13 posted 2001-05-22 06:19 PM


beautiful emotions expressed.  beautiful write.  keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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