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Latching on to Phony Feeling
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Latching on to Phony Feeling |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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Latching on to Phony Feeling: What's that smell, love? Is it the tuna in the fridge, Or just a loss coming to terms With the destructive harmony of evil? We've arrived at our stop sign, And we're surrounded by rabid vermin. It's the everything we feared, And the nothing we always mused over. Do we persist to defy the truth? The simple fact that it was never meant to be. The incomparable waste of thought and feeling. This falsehood of the word 'us' we hold so dear. Instead we latch on to one another As if loneliness was death, And life just a waste of time. So still, the smell carries on fruitfully. We wither into the shadows. Our love along with it. And all this would have served For nothing, for us.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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| © Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
I love reading your work Dopey as you always deliver the pure emotion that you put into your pieces. This one is no different. You have described such vivid thoughts of what love it. Love is nothing but a false sense of security in my opinion but I am very cynical about it. Don't you ever stop writing.  ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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litle_krazy_poet Member
since 2001-01-17
Posts 71 |
it is always a privelige to be able to read your work. this is a grate poem but you always here that. this line: What's that smell, love? Is it the tuna in the fridge, i think that your trying to say that love stinks. and that is a grate way to show this i love it . somethings need poems and then there are thoes that are just for fun |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
I always love reading your poems Dopey! Some of them make me laugh, some make me cry, and some just go right over the top of my head. Congrats on another great poem! Allysa PS. Why aren't you writing me back on e-mail? I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be great, to put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Is this for the same girl you've always written for? Is this about coming to grip with what you truly feel? I'm a little confused here You adored this girl...what happened? I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
This is really good. You just have this way of expressing yourself...I don't know...I'm starting to confuse myself  Great job on this one, keep it up! Luv Always, Priscilla  How come it is so easy for a person to say "I hate you," but it is so difficult for someone to say "I love you" and really mean it???? |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Ummm, interesting imagery... tuna in the fridge? That part was kinda yucky. However, this was written well. Is this about your girl?? Hope not.  xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Beautiful words Javi. Makes me wanna crawl up into a hole and stay away from things forever...but maybe that feeling was there before I read the poem. Anyways..yeah! Great poem. ~Carly |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well acire, yea this is about the same girl I've always written about. Natalia (the most beautiful, wonderful....yet devil encarnated woman on the planet) is the woman who turned me into a poet. She didn't convince me, but my first true poem was about her. Almost everything I write is inspired by her.....whether it be depressing, happy or just weird. Sometimes you won't know she inspired it cuz I try to camoflage my poems with symbolism so it doesn't get boring for me. But anyway acire.....yea it's me coming to terms with the fact that even though i'm still KINDA with her (complex situation), I know it'll never work out.....oh well. Anyway I'm glad you all seemed to like it. Tuna? Yea jenn....it's a yucky smell but it's kinda funny why I picked tuna.......figure it out. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Silver Butterfly Junior Member
since 2001-03-13
Posts 42Between here and the end |
Okay, well, since you gave me leave to critique.... I thought this was an awesome poem, though the line about tuna in the fridge and rabid vermin kind of hurt the poem. Also the word fruitfully was in the wrong context and just did not sound right. Sorry. Don't hate me. Over-all... A+ |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I love seeing posts from you on here. You have such a talent... I liked ths poem a lot. You did another outstanding job --Marie I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Fruitfully- 1. a) yielding or producing fruit b) conducive to an abundant yield 2. abundantly productive The smell carried on fruitfully It was abundantly productive......  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Dopey, you always write great, but I am really, really impressed with this piece. I enjoyed more than anything else I think I have read of yours. Into the library. Great Work! Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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