Teen Poetry #4 |
Melancholy II |
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Sickly green birches shiver in chill. The wind, like a kerchief swipes the silver, quivering tears off the leaves. I sit by the window, grieving... I draw in the cigarette smoke. |
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© Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
the really liked your way of use in imagery so real in life that we see or go through...the last line was so real in showing the following line...thanks for the read...i liked it... ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
The imagery was nice, but I didn't much like this poem by you. It pretty much describes what you're doing and how you're feeling, which is obviously a state of meloncholy, but it didn't hit me like most of your poems do. Anyway, it was still a good read. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Always a treat to read your words. Unlike Dopey, I do like it as it is. Simple but elegantly said. "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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