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Teen Poetry #4
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XFalloutX
Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 31
NC

0 posted 2001-05-16 03:53 PM


Why must I be alone
I long for the touch of someone
I grow weaker every day
I fear I’m going to fall
I need someone to catch me
but there is no one there

(have you notice that my poems are short? I guess there just short sweet and to the point??????)

"should I smile because we are friends or cry because thats all will ever be?"

© Copyright 2001 XFalloutX - All Rights Reserved
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
1 posted 2001-05-16 05:44 PM


your poems are short, but that certainly isn't a bad thing.  it just meansd that it is more of a challenge to create something powerful and deep in a few words.  with this particular one it seemed to be lacking a little of that punch.  still a good poem and a nice thought but i really think you could expand on this a little and make it even better.  anyway, great job on this  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-17 02:08 AM


short poem are sometimes better if you know how to write them and you do...so its koo...and this poem hit home for me!...i liked every word in this poem...i enjoyed the read and keep writing...goooooo short poems!!!...keep writing hehe... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

~*brittt*~
Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 76
East Haddam, CT
3 posted 2001-05-18 09:18 AM


'short, sweet and to the point'. that's the kind I like. This one was kinda sad, but very well written. You DID get that point across. Good job, I like...
~britt~

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2001-05-18 11:09 AM


I too happen to like 'short and sweet and to the point'...this was such a sad and lonely poem...but very good  
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-05-19 02:06 PM


My most fav poems are short and sweet....well sometimes they are pure evil but that goes in accordance to the theme of the poem. Anyhow, well done on this one.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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