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~*brittt*~
Member

since 2001-05-09

Posts 76
East Haddam, CT

0 posted 2001-05-15 10:20 AM

*You Were Never Here*

I've carried this weight,
All on my own
You were never here,
I was always alone.

Depite your harsh words,
I'm gonna make it through,
I don't need any help,
Especially not from you.

All those nights I cried to you
And you never looked my way,
But now you want to listen
While you're begging me to stay.

Now you want to be here,
When you never were before,
I've dealt with you for way to long,
And I don't have the strenght to anymore.

If you live to be 100 years old, I want to live to be 101 so I never have to live a day without you.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2001-05-15 10:21 AM

Great poem, I really enjoyed the read

Keep on shraing.
Mr mr Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

*~valeria~*
Junior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 10
East Haddam, CT

2 posted 2001-05-15 11:44 AM

hey sweetie what's up this is a really cute poem i like it. see ya later. (have fun in art i know i would)

*~*~VALERIA~*~*

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

3 posted 2001-05-15 11:46 AM

I like every poem that you've written, and this one was good 2, but hey, who's it about??

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-15 12:37 PM

great poem...this i really liked...the emotions and the way you've wrote this...well done...thanks for the read...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

thedarkangel
Member

since 2001-05-12

Posts 74
~*~the cutest~*~

5 posted 2001-05-15 01:07 PM

that's so great babes! tell him/her how to treat you. never let people underestimate you.
love peace and eyeliner
angel
-x-

Each Moment in time is a pinprick in eternity-Marcus Aurilius

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

6 posted 2001-05-15 01:51 PM

britt, this is a really strong and forceful poem and I liked it. I can relate to it really well, and I could also relate to your suicide poem. Well, byes!

I know you're in a better place and though I cannot see your face, I know you're smiling down on me, saying everything's okay. ~R Kelly (I wish)

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

7 posted 2001-05-15 03:14 PM

great poem

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

8 posted 2001-05-15 04:19 PM

hee hee, i almost wish that i had written this piece just so that i could dedicate it to someone

i definetely know how you fee. you did a beautiful job expressing yourself in this piece, i like it a lot.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

~*brittt*~
Member

since 2001-05-09

Posts 76
East Haddam, CT

9 posted 2001-05-16 08:40 AM

Hey- thanx for your replies, but Allysa: how did you read the suicide poem? I thought they took it off?? Oh well.... thanx again!
~britt~

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

10 posted 2001-05-16 10:52 AM

Follow exactly what you feel. Very emotional poem. thanks for sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

11 posted 2001-05-17 03:07 PM

Well done. I liked how you wrote this. You seem to be very true in your poetry. You don't beat around the bush with your emotions. I like that....Very well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

silvrduck
Member

since 2000-11-05

Posts 146

12 posted 2001-05-17 03:19 PM

Hey, great poem! you expressed yourself very well.. keep it up, I look forward to reading more

*love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.*

~sugarpie313~
Member

since 2000-09-14

Posts 375
Maine, USA

13 posted 2001-05-17 03:43 PM

Hey great poem i can relate well

Keep Writing! Oh and BTW, in your signature, it's "if you live to be 100 i want to live to be a 100 minus one day so i never have to live a day without you" *L* heheh just thought you might wanna know! GREAT JOB!!

Valerie

Why do you do what u do to me baby...you know if I could I'd do anything for you, please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

14 posted 2001-05-17 06:17 PM

I love the emotion put into this. You really have a sense of flow to your poem.

Almost makes you wanna break down and cry, this...*sniffs* Great stuff!

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

15 posted 2001-05-17 11:28 PM

After reading Javier's reply, I got more out of this. Thanks, Javi!

This really DID have all the emotions at the surface, I like that. A piece of advice I recieved here when I came was to just attempt to bury the message a little bit, hide it behind metaphors and make the reader think a little more.

This poem doesn't do that, but it really doesn't have to. It's fine the way it is.

Still, I think you should try that.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

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