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Teen Poetry #4
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| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada 
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This is a poem.... I know its really long...tell me what u think? Her soul blends with the rest of the crowd her volatile nature breaks through composed feautures Where is she, right next to you in a world of her own It's a pity they say that she has so much troubke That's great work or feelings when no one really has a clue barely scratching the surface in their world She claws her way out of a pity driven world filled with so-called friends, so called love with the only recongizable thing called lies With a bounty on her body the demons of past come to haunt her cold feelings filled with an emptiness An analyzing friend brings about her destruction A raw passion gets pushed away by those in power It's really too bad how her heart breaks for her tortured friend who can't even see her pain A chaos of words fill her paper as she tells her story to those who pretend to care for her A prologue to her life shadows the futur for us all the story she writes fills us with nothing but an ounce of understanding a dissection of work down to the core with every word, every space, every comma just for the world to try and understand her life, her pain, her happiness and her biggest passion in life, people The epilogue tells us the aftermath of her decisions the good-bye to her friends,family the tragedy of another wasted creation As well as she could predict she would never know her true friends As they lower her into the ground, they remeber to take her works of poetry and prose binding them together the place for them is now by her side Buried away so no one remember the girl that once was and never will be again Her last question she wrote in her epilogue was "Do u know who I really am?" And dear world is the of the girl who I still know.... |
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| © Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
ohhh, a picture, cool beans  i don't think i'll be letting anyone see me anytime soon, don't want to submit you to that. anyway, you did a great job on this, i love the feeling in this. thanks for the read, keep posting your work.Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great telling of your emotions in this poem..i did enjoy this quite a bit...great job..and keep writing...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Elusive^ Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 18dancing fairy land |
you know..maybe you don't believe it but you really moved me here.. it's what i think in the back of my mind too..'what is the meaning of this..all the pretense is sickening..' and the thing about writing to convey yourself as an individual human being..excellent.. and the last stanza..yeah. i just tell myself this: empathy is rarely found KEEP POSTING PLEASE.. ''I'll TAKE a QUIET life..a HANDSHAKE of CARBON monoxide with NO alarms AND no SURPRISES..'' |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This was written so well, I cant tell you how much I really liked this piece. It's so sad though...I hope you get happy real soon. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Thank you guys for your replys....didn't think anyone would read it. Regina "Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay |
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thedarkangel Member
since 2001-05-12
Posts 74~*~the cutest~*~ |
that was so great. i love your style of writing. please more more!!! feed me!!! love peace and eyeliner Angel -x- Each Moment in time is a pinprick in eternity-Marcus Aurilius |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Ok... first great poem, I really enjoyed the read thanx for sharing... Second... cute pic Mr mr Zu. " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
i really enjoyed this one. Long but quite good and worth the read. Hope to read more from you regi!!!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
~*applauds*~ This is really good Ina one thing though.... I'd keep the sentences in one lone as to make the poem look shorter. It's length just in looks is intimidating. thanks for sharing and nice pic "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I'm shaking my head at Acire. I really really love how you left some lines to stand alone as one word, that created a very profound impact that was not lost on me. So much of this poem hit me very very hard... it seriously gave me such a strong feeling in my stomach, of guilt. I feel guilty because I haven't spoken to you in a while, and for that I'm sorry. This part had a really strong impact on me. "As they lower her into the ground, they remeber to take her works of poetry and prose binding them together the place for them is now by her side" Wow... that just struck me so powerfully... I felt the loss of a loved one as communicated in the poem. Very very very good work, I'm adding this to my personal library to cling to the walls with a few of your others. I'll talk to you as soon as possible hon. Remember that I care about you... a lot. I consider you my true friend. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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