Teach Me How To Cry - pipTalk Forums

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MindlessPoet
Member

since 2001-04-20

Posts 106
Texas

0 posted 2001-05-14 11:32 PM

Tears I can't cry
Feelings that won't die
The only thing I know
Is that I know nothing.

Tears I can't cry
I don't know why
You can't see how I hurt
and how I'm dying inside.

Tears I can't cry
A heart with wings can't fly
It soars like an eagle
But drops like a stone.

Tears I can't cry
All I can do is sigh
Walls come crashing down
And I lay in the rubble.

One thing more
Before you leave me to die
Just one thing
Teach me how to cry.

*TiMMYBoY*
Yeah, that's me. The Weird One.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-14 11:46 PM

wow!...this was sad but yet powerful...my fav from you so far...great job...i enjoyed this a lot and related to it...thanks for sharing and its good to see you post again...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

2 posted 2001-05-15 05:01 AM

This is great. The imagery coupled with the repetition really helped to keep the subject matter at the heart of the poem. You didn't seem to drift too much here.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

3 posted 2001-05-15 08:57 AM

This poem made me sad! But it was still written incredibly well. Learning to cry, ah, what a subject. Awesome job!

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

4 posted 2001-05-15 09:04 AM

Great job on the poem Tim it was very well written and I enjoyed the read. Keep on sharing

Mr Mr Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

5 posted 2001-05-15 10:52 AM

This was very well written. I thought the ending was extremely good.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

6 posted 2001-05-15 07:05 PM

This is really good... very nice emotions.
I love the last line, but I think the title gives it away too much.  Maybe a change should occur, but hey...
Oh and I also think that "walls crashing down" is a cliche...
I'm critical.  So sue me.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

7 posted 2001-05-15 10:31 PM

I could teach you how to cry... I'm pretty damn good at it, if I do say so myself *LOL* Well, this was a really great poem, good job

,
Suga

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

8 posted 2001-05-18 05:26 PM

I enjoyed the poem, and believe me....you know how to cry hehe....it's not that hard....and sometimes it's good to cry. SO cry.....cry cry cry cry!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

9 posted 2001-05-21 09:38 AM

This is really very expressive. I like the way you started each poem with the same line too. Great repetition. Thanks for the amazing read and keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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