»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
A Silver Goodnight
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
A Silver Goodnight |
|
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
The moonlight rises, falls, and dips, as through the waning clouds it slips. To grant to me with fragile touch, a silver kiss upon my lips. Our heatbeats seem to intertwine. I gently hold your gaze in mine. The darkness softens in respect, to let the moment briefly shine. My fingertips begin to trace, the shadows cast upon your face. I long to hold the moment still, and keep you in my safe embrace. Our only watcher's silver sight, bathes us in romantic light. I feel your breath upon my cheek, and softly kiss your lips goodnight. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. [This message has been edited by banburycross (edited 05-15-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Peter - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
this poem was pure beauty every word in this poems verse was touching an amazing poem you have shown me...i enjoyed it and liked it lots...as always...keep writing peter  if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This is dang good writing! I don't know why this has only one reply! The iambic octameter and rhyming in this poem are excellent. You've spared little effort at making this poem a very good read. The imagery is quite spectacular as well. On the whole, a great job here! "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
||
|
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This was sooo sweet!!! I liked this piece alot. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
|
~*brittt*~ Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 76East Haddam, CT |
I really liked this poem and thought it was really sweet. Keep up the good work |
||
Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Another good poem from you, I always enjoy reading your work. Anyway good job. Mr Mr Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
||
|
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
This is SO beautiful! Great job! SEA |
||
|
Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
i really liked this it was a good read and i am gonna add it to me library thank ya very much for an enjoyable read ben i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it |
||
|
Tangerines Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 22Richmond, Virginia |
Okay, okay. This is - very beautiful. With the moon's "silver sight." Your rhymes always seem to manage to escape triteness, which is a definite plus. But - spelling mistake. "Entertwine" should be "intertwine." (I told you!!) I like this a lot, even thought I am anal. "I don't judge people, I just watch them till it's time to look away. I wanna look away now." - Kristin Hersh |
||
|
Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow Peter this is great! Good job muchacho  Bel |
||
|
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Wow, this is extremely good. The flow and the beautiful language make it a great read. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
||
|
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
aww that was great! i love the rhyme sceme and just the overall picture u made with your words. simply beautiful. thankies for sharin it  tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
||
|
lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hey wow..this was great!!! really very sweet! *KiMMiE* |
||
|
Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
This is absolutely beautiful!! Wonderful job  ,Suga "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
||
|
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
this was wonderful I'm suprise Allan hasn't replied..falling in love with the ryhme scheme Great job..keep posting*dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Fractal - This is Iambic Tetrameter, my friend. Notice how it has four iambic feet, rather than eight as does Octameter. Peter - Awesome poem. I know what you meant by this being your favourite of yours as far as meter and rhyme are concerned, it's just fabulous. You ended it very professionally, it's this kind of poem that gets published, in my opinion. Beautiful. Magnificent. Everything about this is superb. That's enough for your ego now. I'll just add this to my library and be on my way. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
stupid button.  |
||
|
Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Superb!! -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
||
|
Sabriel.s.h.lover Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 73b.f.e. aka- Hickville |
I LOVED this poem! Nice work! it's goinn in my library!Sabriel~ So many books, so little time |
||
|
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Jeepers! (does anyone use that word anymore...GAH! I hope this doesn't make me look like a dork. too late...) You've really got a romantic touch to your poem...the whole thing flows together really nicely. I can almost picture a silver lining running through the entire piece. Great stuff. Keep it up! |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Ban, this is beautiful. These descriptions are magnificant, paving the way for magical imagery. This is one of my favourite pieces I have read in this forum. Bravo! To the library, you go! ~AF~ Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. |
||
|
baby0508 Member
since 2001-05-16
Posts 58Moodus, Connecticut |
Hey Peter!! That poem was so sweet. It really made me feel like I was actually there. Keep up the good work. ~Heather~ |
||
|
Silver Butterfly Junior Member
since 2001-03-13
Posts 42Between here and the end |
Like everyone else said: that was an amazing poem. The imagry was so vivid and everything else was just right. Yay! Good job! |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wonderful job on this one ban! wOWNESS! this was pure talent. This is probably the best poem I've read from you yet! Hope to see more!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
thedarkangel Member
since 2001-05-12
Posts 74~*~the cutest~*~ |
that's amazing banburycross, you've replied to all my poems so now i'm replying to yours. that's the most fantastic poem ever. iambic wot?! it's going in my library for sure! keep posting babe love peace and eyeliner angel -x- tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial for what it's worth it was worth all the while - Green Day |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
~*stands up and applauds*~ really beautiful ~*keeps applauding*~ "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
|
zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
I loved your poem! really nice.. You're a good writer! and thanks again for emailing me.. hehe, what is it, the 3th time I thank you..? well.. it doesn't matter anyway. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
