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Teen Poetry #4
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Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-05-14 06:32 PM



living a new life,
making the best.
trying a new way,
living in love and poetry.

watching the pains,
drifting away.
taking my time,
living in love and poetry.

wondering why,
life isn't the greatest for you.
making you see life while,
living of love and poetry.

why you dwell,
on the darker side.
life isn't all bad,
living in love and poetry.

do you dream,
of greater things.
of a life more perfect,
living in love and poetry.

do you live in a life,
of love and poetry?

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved
AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
1 posted 2001-05-14 06:40 PM


Ooo, deep one Ben. And I see you used punctuation *laughs*, well I'm loving the last lines, really brilliant. You've gotta lotta passion. Keep up the writing hun and take care always.

Ali

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
2 posted 2001-05-14 07:04 PM


ben i like this one!   yea i was suprised by the punctuation just likes ali toos lols newayz i like this hun. cant wait for mores! i love you *hugs*
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"You say i only hear what i want too..."

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-14 07:18 PM


this was very good and i enjoyed how you said it but the repition got a little tiring maybe putt more between or put it every otehr line...or somewhat...other then that the maning behind was nice....keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
4 posted 2001-05-14 08:05 PM


i actually really liked the repitition in this, i think that this is really beautifully written.  definetely one of my favorites by you, great job on this.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-05-18 03:09 PM


I do.....i live in life and poetry....hura!

I liked the poem!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

5_sweet_kisses
Junior Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 49

6 posted 2001-05-18 06:06 PM


Coolioz Ben, very good poem. I can't be on long. Just checking mail, but I can drop in here and give you a few lines. You keep up the good work.
*huggles* Peeker

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-05-21 09:59 AM


I guess your name is Ben  
I like the read but I felt your words lacked a little more emotion in them.  But that's only my opinion.  Thanks for the read and keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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