Teen Poetry #4 |
the pain wont stop |
broken wing Junior Member
since 2001-04-30
Posts 37 |
ok this isnt my best, but not my worst either so here it is: the pain wont stop wont go away its always there neverending agony wrenching out my heart im so alone surrounded by everybody surrounded by nothing so alone that i hurt the pain wont stop i just want someone to smile at me a real smile from the eyes maybe that will help help the pain that wont stop im so alone wont go away surrounded by nothing someone to smile help the pain that wont stop |
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© Copyright 2001 broken wing - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
the meaning behind this poem..was a real one..and something i go through in life..you told it well...thansk for the read...and keep writing.. ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
Wow, i encounter these emotions daily -- we have a lot in common from these few stanzas! Email me if you ever want to talk. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
wow, you really expressed yourself well here. this is something i go through alot.. these feelings. hope everything looks up for you.. take care, Sarah *love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this one a lot. Well done! Hope things get better I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This one reminded me of myself so much because like you, the pain in my soul is always there. It's so difficult to deal with, but I can relate. You did really good in expressing yourself, but I wish it wasn't pain that you are feeling. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Yea this one reminded me of myself too... theres a smile hehe i hope that helps!! ::hugs:: |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
here's a smile for you you got us here in pip, don't forget that "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Shyan Junior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 10Canada |
Hey. Well, I thought this was a good poem. there is so much pain in this world and I cant believe it........its just like whoa. And I can actualy say that I understand how you feel. C ya l8er. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
I liked the repition of a few of your lines. It added that extra edge to the piece very well. You've described emotions that so many people encounter on a daily basis. For doing it so well, I commend your efforts. Well done. ~AF~ Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. |
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