Teen Poetry #4 |
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Snapshots |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA ![]() |
Snapshots in my memory Of the way we used to be Smiles shared, words you spoke When you belonged to me My most vivid memory, though One that stands out in my mind Is the one you gave to me that day That’s right-- the day you left me behind I can still hear your stinging words See that look in your eyes I can feel the pain rush over me again Although it came as no surprise I hear you say you’re sorry again As I cry, walk out your door Not turning back, nor saying “goodbye” Yearning to be stronger than before But, here I am, 3 months later Snapshots and words you said Still etched in my mind’s eye... Yet in your mind-- they’re dead "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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© Copyright 2001 Sara - All Rights Reserved | |||
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
i liked this alot u described it very well ur descripions and of how u felt good job! hope all is well! ![]() tiff ![]() “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Linc![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, I always enjoy reading your work, I liked this one and its going into my library. Now on the situation of the poem I never think that you can forget a partner totaly and that some of his/her words linger in your mind forever. Until your next poem -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is really good! keep it up katie if you don't let them in they can't see the real you |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great flow...i liked how you expressed your feelings in here...thanks for sharing and keep writing... ![]() if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Great job on the poem, and I like the title you chose too ![]() "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i agree with albert, the flow of this is good and the one thing that really stood out to me in this piece. that and the powerful ending of this. great job, keep writing ![]() Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Sara --- how sure are you that he never thinks about it anymore. You never know. ![]() keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Acire's right! I guarantee there are still times when you pop up in his head. It always happens. Good job on the poem. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
very sweet job my friend you have an amazing talent that puts this fat man to shame heh and way keep it up ok love ya oh and btw you are very cute *had to say that to make some one kinda madish but it still true* ben i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it to make the world the greatest place is the perfect dre [This message has been edited by Godsend_1 (edited 05-16-2001).] |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
nice job hun ![]() ![]() yup u just wait my friend! ull have it comin. newayz ![]() tiff ![]() “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” "You say i only hear what i want too..." [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-16-2001).] |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
wow...i like this..the feeling sucks...but this kinda thing happens...and when in doubt write good poetry! and ya did..nice job here *KiMMiE* |
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Hacas Junior Member
since 2001-05-05
Posts 25 |
I really enjoyed this poem...great job! Keep up the good work! Love Ryan "Fight for what you believe in" |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very sad, but I enjoyed it. Not your sadness, but the poem hehe.. You like the word 'etched' don't you? ![]() ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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XFalloutX Junior Member
since 2001-05-13
Posts 31NC |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I hope to see more ![]() (you think I got to many smile faces?) "should I smile because we are friends or cry because thats all will ever be?" |
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