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Teen Poetry #4
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Xeonox
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0 posted 2001-05-11 01:18 AM


My hand adrift-
Seeking your cheeks,

The eyes of yours-
Love without question,

My body quivers-
At your touch,

Lips full of pearls-
Opens your beauty,

My laden heart-
amplifies the love,

The finishing touch-
Signifies our absolute.

Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.)

© Copyright 2001 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
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1 posted 2001-05-11 02:52 AM


i enjoyed the way you have written this poem...great job and its good that youa re posting here agin..thansk for sharing and keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
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since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
2 posted 2001-05-11 10:27 AM


these are very powerful coulpets that you've written, i like this piece a lot.  the overall image was really wonderful.  great job, keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Allan Riverwood
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3 posted 2001-05-11 05:17 PM


Couplets are neat.     The images conveyed here, as Peter said, were simply wonderful.  
I hope to see you posting more.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Xeonox
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4 posted 2001-05-13 01:45 PM


again, thank you for the response. Couplets to me are nice, for they each stand on their own two feet.

Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.)

Acies
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5 posted 2001-05-16 10:57 AM


ouch ouch ouch
i like this a lot
very nice
keep it up  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Xeonox
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6 posted 2001-05-16 05:35 PM


Acire, I am surprise to find that this poem is still getting response after five days. Thank you.

Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.)

Dopey Dope
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7 posted 2001-05-17 03:14 AM


Very well done. I enjoyed this poem.....hope to see more soon!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Heavens Tears
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8 posted 2001-05-17 09:04 AM


This is the first of your poems that I have read.  Excellent job.  Keep them coming.

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
9 posted 2001-05-18 03:18 PM


Simply beautiful...

Godsend_1
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10 posted 2001-05-18 03:26 PM


masterfully done and gorgouse

ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be..so deal with it
to make the world the greatest place is the perfect dream in

Xeonox
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11 posted 2001-05-18 06:32 PM


you guys are spoling me with your comments.

Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.)

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