Teen Poetry #4 |
You and I |
Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
My hand adrift- Seeking your cheeks, The eyes of yours- Love without question, My body quivers- At your touch, Lips full of pearls- Opens your beauty, My laden heart- amplifies the love, The finishing touch- Signifies our absolute. Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.) |
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© Copyright 2001 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i enjoyed the way you have written this poem...great job and its good that youa re posting here agin..thansk for sharing and keep writing... ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
these are very powerful coulpets that you've written, i like this piece a lot. the overall image was really wonderful. great job, keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Couplets are neat. The images conveyed here, as Peter said, were simply wonderful. I hope to see you posting more. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
again, thank you for the response. Couplets to me are nice, for they each stand on their own two feet. Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.) |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
ouch ouch ouch i like this a lot very nice keep it up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
Acire, I am surprise to find that this poem is still getting response after five days. Thank you. Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.) |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very well done. I enjoyed this poem.....hope to see more soon! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This is the first of your poems that I have read. Excellent job. Keep them coming. *~*Amanda*~* |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Simply beautiful... |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
masterfully done and gorgouse ben i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be..so deal with it |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
you guys are spoling me with your comments. Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.) |
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