Teen Poetry #4 |
Stagnant |
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
It's been a while since I've posted a poem. This is my first one in quite a long time. I like this one, but be completely honest cause I want to know the god's honest truth on this one. Empty promises and heartfelt tears Can’t be erased after all these years Forgotten dreams of yesterday Now painful memories that were washed away A life that was filled with so many goals Turned inside out, ripped apart, and filled with holes The air is stagnant here, it’s hard to breathe Broken every tie yet I still can’t leave I can’t go nowhere and I ain’t getting nothing done Wish I could leave it all, just turn and run But I can’t, I won’t, and I don’t know why Seems like my life is destined to be empty till the day I die Cause I try to reach out, but only grasp the air There has to be something for me out there, somewhere But if I never find it, I’ll always know this I tried to take my chance but I guess I just missed I don’t know what to do, this life is stagnant I’m going nowhere and this ain’t how I planned it Look to the future but I must be blinded Cant’ even see tomorrow, become absent-minded Take one step forward and another back Must have missed a turn cause my world’s off track Worthless hope and a hopeless worth The day that one starts dawns the other’s birth Certainty gives in and in it’s final breath You’ll realize the only thing certain in this life is death And trust’s a dirty word that shall not be spoken It’s meaning lost when life beat you down and left you broken I’m an innocent bystander in a victimless crime Yet I’ve been convicted and sentenced to life, still serving my time My crime is one of ignorance, I’ll only try it once It latched on and once turned into 90 days, 3 entire months Gravitational pull to this life of sin One person starts it off and drags the next one in Intentions misled and dreams gone astray Can’t control it myself so I try to pray But I’m too weighed down , trouble clings like a magnet I can’t escape the pain cause this life is stagnant. "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur [This message has been edited by keoni (edited 05-11-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Jon - All Rights Reserved | |||
Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Awesome. I really enjoyed this one. Something about it really clicked w/ me. To the library!! *~*Amanda*~* |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
This is a really nice piece. I really liked it |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
this poem is a kinda poem i would have wrote...graet job and the meaning came to my heart i related to every word...tahnks for sharing and all i gott stay is hang in there...keep writing...and great poem.. ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Thanx for the replies, I am sorta proud of this piece. I enjoyed writing it and liked the end product. It helps make you feel better when the words come out like you wanted. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
well i think you should be proud of this piece, you wrote it very well. i've been feeling like my like is a little stagnant lately, i think i need to get far away for a while. i'll let you know and order you a plane ticket good job on this, keep posting your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Very nice work. I see you posted this on Underground as well, that's not a good idea. If you can post it here, keep it out of Underground alright? Either way, good job on the poem. I like its length and flow, it didn't falter itself in the least. Well done. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Just wanted to bump this one for a little more input.Sorry to take up space. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great Job on the poem... i dunno if I replied to this in underground but I really liked it keep up the good work Mr mr Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Heh, loved it the first time as well as the second. Keep taking up space..as long as it isn't duplicate space. Ok! Hah. Peace. ~Carly "I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Hey I didn't mean to, didn't know who was who on underground so I goofed. My bad. Now I know. See ya Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very very nicely done. I really thought you wrote this well. I loved it. Great job! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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