Teen Poetry #4 |
You ( This has some important info on Fading Away AKA Marie ) |
Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
You make angels sing. You are beautiful and true. My one true love you. Hey guys, This is my first try at a senryu so tell me what you think. Now to the most important part of this post besides the poem is that Marie or Fading Away has been put on punishment from the computer so she wont be on for about a month so don't think she has left or is just not reading your work. Okay then pass the word on for me cause I can't get it to everyone on teen poetry talk to you later and hope you liked it. -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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© Copyright 2001 Jermaine Clayborne - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
nooo.....marie ..imma miss her ok...but on teh poem i thought it had some nice maning but the last line seemed little iffy..other then that..great job..keep writing ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
"i like it, the rhyming is cool and i like the last line." That's what I said earlier, and that's what I think now And thanks for the info on marie, I hope she makes it through the month all right. "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
great poem.. marie will be back ...hopefully! $ Jeff $ : ) |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is a really good Senryu "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This was very good. Keep writing! Jenn "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I already told you what I think of the senryu. Tell Marie that I miss her and she's in my thoughts. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Great job Linc. If someone ever wrote me something like that, I would just melt. Unfortunatly, the only thing I could get that someone to write was a letter and that took a heck of a lot of bribery. ANyways, I'll miss Marie, even tho I don't really talk to her much. Byes. I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
two posts in the same week? what's going on here i like the the rhyming in this piece, i think it adds an interesting twist to this format. i will miss marie on here but i still get to hear all of her poetry so y'all can just be jealous of me keep posting regularly, i always enjoy your poetry and your replies. talk to you later Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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broken wing Junior Member
since 2001-04-30
Posts 37 |
i dont know what a senryu is, but i enjoyed this. broken "To me, fair friend, u never can be old, |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Thanks for the replies and broken wing ask the senru master Allan Riverwood. Thakns again guy It means alot -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed the senryu.....say hi to Marie. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Oh darnit!! This is why she didnt reply to my email. Thanks. And great job on the poem. *~*Amanda*~* |
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