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Teen Poetry #4
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Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2001-05-10 01:55 PM


Deep within the shadows of the night
You come to comfort and hold me tight
Carressing my heart
And numbing my brain
Just by whispering out my name
You sing a lonesome lullaby
As I meander within my dreams
Your hot breath against my skin
Stops any intruders hoping to make my soul scream
With you in the night, I'm no longer alone
You hold my hand
Guiding my soul back to it's home
My eyes can't seem to trace your face
But my heart can touch every crevice and surface
The celestial beams of the moon
Shines right through the very essence of what you are
And I love you more than you'll ever know
Even though you are too afraid to show
So for as long as you want
Stay in the shadows
And comfort me as much as you care for
For as long as you stay
I'll never close the door to my soul, nor my dreams
For you are forever welcome in my realm...

"Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night"

~Crash and Burn~

© Copyright 2001 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

1 posted 2001-05-10 02:10 PM


Ceinwyn:

Good poem.  The rhyming here was quite good.  So was the hyperbole.  I think that the person this is addressed to will like it a lot.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-05-10 06:22 PM


Ooooooh pretty   I really enjoyed this! Great job!  

,
Suga

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
3 posted 2001-05-10 10:59 PM


I really liked this one. Umm.. not feeling original in what I say tonight, but, this was really very sweet. I hope who it was written for likes it.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.


anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-11 02:03 AM


i really liked this one..great job...the emaining behind this poem was very enjoyable to read..thanks for sharing and keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
5 posted 2001-05-11 10:08 AM


i also liked the rhyme in this one, i thought that was particularly well done.  you did a wonderful job job on this, good writing  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
6 posted 2001-05-11 10:13 AM


Great poem and i'm sure whoever you wrote about it would treasure it.
Mr Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
7 posted 2001-05-11 11:52 AM


ok i enjoyed this very much! loved the message in it. *Hugs* i hope he knows how u feel hun.


'You hold my hand
Guiding my soul back to it's home
My eyes can't seem to trace your face
But my heart can touch every crevice and surface...

...So for as long as you want
Stay in the shadows'

^ that was just great! *points*
cant wait to c more of your work.
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
8 posted 2001-05-11 05:45 PM


Wonderful work, Kristen!  I too liked the scattered and often internal rhyme to this piece, it gave it a very turbulent flow that I fell in love with.     
The message was so very inviting, I thought this poem was great!  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

mistic
Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.
9 posted 2001-05-12 09:39 PM


I really liked this poem. It made me smile for some reason, maybe because it's close to something I would write for my boyfriend.
Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
10 posted 2001-05-12 09:50 PM


Hey,

     Wonderful poem! I enjoyed reading it and I am emailing it to a friend. Until your next poem

           -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-05-16 10:22 AM


~*sigh*~
this is just simply beautiful

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
12 posted 2001-05-17 02:58 PM


I really enjoyed this. Great job!
Wow.....you wrote this one so well.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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