concrete heart - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

0 posted 2001-05-09 10:38 PM

Expectations bounce
Off clouded skies
Falling downward
Shattering like glass
On a concrete heart

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

1 posted 2001-05-10 12:04 PM

This is very interesting for the syllable scheme... it reminded me of Tanka, but with different syllable scheme to it. Very creative of you to come up with something like this.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-10 03:20 AM

i liked this poem much...and enjoyed the wya you have written this..you seem to write very short poems with meaning in them...keep writing...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

3 posted 2001-05-10 10:50 AM

i like both the pieces i've read by you, they are both quite creative and this one creates a really nice image. keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-05-12 05:52 PM

you rpoems are very thought provoking
i like that a lot
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

5 posted 2001-05-13 09:41 PM

I notice that you have an amazing talent to make such a powerful poem out of such few words...i admire ya!!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-05-16 06:44 PM

I liked this one a lot!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

7 posted 2001-05-16 06:46 PM

I didnt really know if I understood it, but I think I might. Do you mean that people expect too much of you? If so, I think a lot of teens know how you feel, so your not alone.

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow. I feel kinda sorry for it...

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.