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Teen Poetry #4
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Enchantment
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Enchantment |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
~this may suck? i dunno  i tried tho! thats all that matters rite?  ~Moist grass After the first summer rain Light underneath my feet Green is all around The air is warm Humid My hair falls and tangles I run The sun is setting Moon will shine Full… Bright It will light the beaten path I have walked it ever so much Among flowers… Grass… Vines… You |
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| © Copyright 2001 ethel lahootie - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
ohh, I like this one  big smiles SEA |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
good job..i like it *KiMMiE* |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice use of alternating line sizes... there were some lines that were only one word. It's tough to do this but I must say I'm very impressed with how skillfully you layed this poem out. The "..."s after some lines also was just used perfectly. Wonderful work, Ethel. You are definitely improving your technique. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i think you did just fine and thats the thing that really do matters  ...and yea..this poem was great...tahnskf or sharing and keep writin..  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
the format you used on this is really neat, i really like thhe way you wrote it. good imagery too, this is wonderful writing. keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
gracias ppls!! im very impressed on how much yall enjoyed this! WOW! im amazed! thank u so much! ~jO~ |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I thought this was creative, the last word really made this poem for me. Great job on it "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Good job! What's goin' on with muchacho? You never really explained...  Bel |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
hey thanks for replying bel-explain what? im confused  tell me in comp prog aight? aight. |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
ooooooooo duh jobeth! i know what muchacho! nothings goin on w/him....hes goin out w/some gurl from lims...sux huh? wel. i dont care. this poem wasnt bout him...or anybody. haha it just came into my head! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Not bad Ethel I like your other more than this, but still a good write it's just that I'm amazed by your others and my standards for you are so much higher now  thanks for sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
This is neat. I like the kind of driftiness to it...but it's also 1:30 AM, maybe i'm the drifty one! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great poem, I really enjoyed the read... well done Zu |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
acire-hahah i kno i kno...this wasnt that good. but thanks for replyin obscurity-hahahaha ur a funny one thanks zu-thanks for replyin thanks ppls! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked the ending of the poem. You did quite well on it. I hope to see more from you....OK!!!!!!!! OK!!!!!!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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