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Teen Poetry #4
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artemis_selene
Junior Member
since 2001-05-07
Posts 14
virginia

0 posted 2001-05-09 04:48 PM


another attempt at free verse...

that shining, flashing, waxing moon
placed upon your forehead at birth
gleams like a beacon of purity
and wholeness of spiritandmindandbody
but it is also a warning:
only a twin star can take its place
in your celestial skies.

© Copyright 2001 artemis_selene - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-05-09 04:54 PM


very neat....I like this one  
anonymous albert ?
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Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-09 05:10 PM


great job on the attempt in freeverse but i think you did alright...i liekd it and keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
3 posted 2001-05-09 05:42 PM


This is interesting, I like the way you used "a crescent shaped moon".  Good job, I think you did well.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
4 posted 2001-05-09 08:00 PM


this was very creatively done, i like this a lot.  this was certainly a piece that gave me pause and made me think.  keep posting all your poetry  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-05-09 11:31 PM


Nice job.  I might do an "attempt" at free verse sometime myself... this inspired me to at least try.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-05-12 12:10 PM


This is a really good attempt, maybe next time you can write longer ones.  I'd love to see those  

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-05-16 05:29 PM


Hey this was great. I really feel that you do free verse very well. I enjoyed this.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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