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Teen Poetry #4
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MoeRocko
Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166
West Virginia

0 posted 2001-05-09 07:11 PM



Where will you be when it all comes down
Will you be able to stay afloat, or just lay down and drown?
Will you still be around, or lose the strength you thought you found?
When It all comes down
Will you be safe and sound?
or will your little world tumble to the ground?
Can you really prove, you won't be sold
or do you think they'll fall for your Fool's Gold
When it all comes down, you can trust
I'll still be around
With my friendship, you'll still be crowned
I won't betray
When it all comes down.....

Don't turn your back on the future, you have nothing to look back on.....

© Copyright 2001 Ewok Enterprise - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-05-09 07:38 PM


this is very sweet  
chas
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101
Lynn, ma
2 posted 2001-05-09 07:44 PM


nice poem, so is there going to be a second part to this cus i want to know what and when it all comes down?
knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
3 posted 2001-05-09 07:46 PM


awwwww this is great ewoksters! *hugs*
loves ya muchs best friend best friend   lols
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-05-09 09:28 PM


I like how it trailed off... really good job Ewok.  
Hope to see you around more.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-05-10 03:38 AM


this was weet and a enjoyable read..thanks for sharing and keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
6 posted 2001-05-10 11:08 AM


the use of the elipse at the end made this really interesting, almost telling the reader to contemplate the ending themselves.  i like this, thanks for the read.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
7 posted 2001-05-10 04:07 PM


this is really good. Can't wait to read more, if there is some.

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to.  I never thought that I couldn't.
Life's tough, get a helmet.

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
8 posted 2001-05-10 05:33 PM


Wow welll you asked some very good questions in this poem...very nice...very nice...
Heavens Tears
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Posts 677

9 posted 2001-05-10 07:13 PM


Very nice!  This is the first of your poems that I have read.  Keep posting!

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
10 posted 2001-05-10 07:30 PM


Good job on the poem, I think it's the first one I've read by you.  So hi   I like your critique message

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-05-12 11:46 PM


"I won't betray when it all comes down"

You have shown a good attitude on this poem.  Wonderful write and keep sharing.  Thanks for the beautiful read.

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
12 posted 2001-05-16 03:58 AM


I REALLY enjoyed this one. Very very very well written. I liked it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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