Teen Poetry #4 |
ne ideas? |
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
gentle breeze howling wind glaring sun starry sky warm breath brittle cold cloudless day stormy night idk if this is good or not but there tis. “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved | |||
lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
sumones in a weathery mood lol..j.p short..very..but ok *KiMMiE* |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Adjective noun Adjective noun Hmm.... this did get boring after a short while. I agree with your "ick." |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
yea..it did sound kinda cliche..but who cares..i liekd what you were discribing..keep writing... ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
as it is, it's a little basic and certainly not one of my favorites by you. i think if you take this and expand on it a good bit you can make these images into a beautiful poem. i hope you don't give up on this one, keep posting your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I swear I've read this already hmmmm....oh well nice read anyways "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Swearing is bad.... Anyway, I didn't much like this one. Not your best.... I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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