Teen Poetry #4 |
Sorry, repost |
Silver Butterfly Junior Member
since 2001-03-13
Posts 42Between here and the end |
(sorry that I'm reposting, but the computer won't let me edit my poetry after 24 hours and apparently there was an error in my form. Namely, I forgot to type the last verse. Sorry also that I took so long to do it. Oooooo well. Enjoy again.) dancing glass candlelit floor spinning gold beneath small feet music singing counts of four brassy ringing whirling beat spinning gold beneath small feet follow follow chanting leads brassy ringing whirling beat fabric swishing pearly beads follow follow chanting leads noble knightly deeds are done fabric swishing pearly beads moon and music sky are one noble knightly deeds are done dancing glass candlelit floor moon and music sky are one music singing counts of four [This message has been edited by Silver Butterfly (edited 05-09-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Debby - All Rights Reserved | |||
Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Great job Deb! Keep it up! *~*Amanda*~* |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
very good poem..i liked it and keep writing...sometimes its like that and no need for sorries at lease you sharing and thats what counts cya! ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Ohh this was really pretty. Was it about dancing, or maybe skating? It was good. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
the imagery in this piece is wonderful, i enjoyed this piece a great deal. i'm glad you decided to re post this so that more people can read this poem, you did a great job on this. keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
This is REALLY awesome!!! nice job! , Suga "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey, thanks for reposting this one. You know it was a favourite of mine. Oh and it's nice to see you took my suggestion and brought it to a complete circle. It looks very nifty now. As always, I must say you pulled this off very well. Each individual line is well thought-out, to the point where reading almost any one line from this poem inspires awe. This technique is ideal for pantoum writing. Maybe try another one sometime soon? ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Such a peaceful and delightful read. I don't mind this being a repost at all. Actually, I'm glad you did repost it keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done on it. I liked it a lot. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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