Teen Poetry #4 |
everything ends |
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
locked away in silence sound with no sound everything stops screeching, deafening silence louder then sound silence drawing breath everything stops screeching, deafening locked in this silence silence with no sound everything stops screeching, deafening locked away in silence everything stops everything ends “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved | |||
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
This wasn't my favorite piece that you've posted. i think it just seemed to be lacking a little bit of that powerful punch that so much of your work has. this is still great writing, just not my favorite. keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
eh...this wasnt my favorite by you, but it is still good...(plus dont take my opinion as a dis..b.c my poems suck!!! lol) *KiMMiE* |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
I like it, but think that you may have been able to make it flow better. It's definitely not bad, and don't take that as a dis, because I do like this one. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
it was ok...the repetition was nice... something definitly was missing.. hope to see more tho..keep writing ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
You have got to be kidding me! I was all prepped to give Tiff a bit wow on this one...... what are you guys talking about? Anyways Tiff, I'm not going to let them assimilate me. Awesome poem, I really really really enjoyed it. I wonder what makes me so different... Well take comfort in the pride that you have won my approval. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Well expressed Tiff You're amazing me more and more This had gotta be up there amongst your poems keep it up girl and keep sharing thanks for the read "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very well done on this poem. I hope to read more tiff. you are doing so well here. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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