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Teen Poetry #4
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knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-05-08 11:36 AM


you say you care
but do you really?
when were you there
in the hard times?

you say youll always be by my side
but will you really?
when were you there
when i needed you?

you say youll always be there for me
but will you really?
where are you?
i need you now

you say youll always love me
but will you really?
where is your love?
i dont feel it

you say you are with me
but are you really?
i dont feel you
i dont feel you

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

U in the dark u in the pain u on the run
Living a hell living ur ghost living ur hell

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
1 posted 2001-05-08 11:46 AM


Awwwww...If you cant believe what someone who cares about you says, then there's probably a problem with them.  So sorry, but nevertheless this is a good poem.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-05-08 12:13 PM


I had dreams of my best friend last night...this poem went right to my heart....I miss my friend very much.....Tiffy girl, I love this one   (library)    SEA
banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
3 posted 2001-05-08 01:27 PM


I like this piece, you put a lot of yourself into your writing which is what makes it such beautiful poetry.  i hope everything is ok, email me if you ever need to talk    keep writing wonderful poetry.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

5_sweet_kisses
Junior Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 49

4 posted 2001-05-08 01:40 PM


great poem hun... keep up the good  work!! *licks tiff*
Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
5 posted 2001-05-08 01:49 PM


Hey,

    Great job, I too hope everything is okay. This is really good   until your next poem

     -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
6 posted 2001-05-08 07:31 PM


lotsa raw emotion is what makes good poetry good poetry..and there is lotsa emotion in this one  
          *KiMMiE*

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
7 posted 2001-05-08 07:40 PM


I like this one.... I think it read almost like a song, one of those creepy dark songs that we all love so much where I don't feel you is whispered.  
Neat job, thanks for the thought.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-05-11 12:01 PM


I like this a lot.  Don't we all go thru all that hardtimes that comes with the dating game    Hope things do get better for ya.  Keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-05-15 03:29 PM


Very well done. I liked it and yea....been through this  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

10 posted 2001-05-15 05:16 PM


i like the emotions in this poem...good job...and keep writing... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
11 posted 2001-05-15 10:28 PM


There is so much emotion in this piece.  And bonus, you're lyrical, very songish.  I really like the flow here--great work.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

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