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Teen Poetry #4
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Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2001-05-08 08:04 AM


I never thought that we’d be more than friends
Didn’t expect you to lay down my defense
Tonight is gonna be the night
That we connect silently in the moonlight

Unchain my heart with your precious words
Can’t believe that you actually eased my hurts
I’ll give you more than love can bye
Take my hand and give me and you a try

I just wanna stay
Like this forever
In this moment being
So close together
Hour after hour it
Slowly gets better
Cause you’re my dream
And dreams are here to stay

There’s lessens to be learned you taught me
I’m so lost within you helped me breathe
Don’t be afraid I’m here to stay
Don’t worry the end is so far away

I just wanna stay
Like this forever
In this moment being
So close together
Hour after hour it
Slowly gets better
Cause you’re my dream
And dreams are here to stay


© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
Godsend_1
Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247
great state of illinois
1 posted 2001-05-08 09:31 AM


cool man i really lked this alot its the first thing i read from youbut i will keep my eyes open from now on  ty for the read

later
ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-05-08 11:22 AM


this reads like a song....I liked it very much    SEA
vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
3 posted 2001-05-08 11:51 AM


I loved the content here and the way the poem flowed so smoothly.  You wrote it very well and I like it alot.  Into my library it goes.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Suga_Baby
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380
Maine, USA
4 posted 2001-05-08 04:43 PM


Hey this was really good! I like it a lot, nice work!  

-Suga-

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
5 posted 2001-05-08 07:14 PM


personally i think if you put some music...bass...possibly behing it ..it would sound great as a song!
      *KiMMiE*

Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

6 posted 2001-05-08 07:17 PM


Almost reminded me of that song from Armegeddon.  Great poem!  Keep it up!

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-05-11 11:53 AM


beautiful write my friend.  What reassurance to a special someone.  Thanks for such a beautiful read.  keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-05-15 03:27 PM


Very sweet poem for the person it was written for. I enjoyed it!!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

9 posted 2001-05-15 05:18 PM


beautiful sweet poem...i enjoyed it alot...thanks for the read... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Pixie-Babe03
Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387
Central Maine
10 posted 2001-05-15 05:50 PM


i liked this poem a lot! its so sweet!   thanks for a great read!
-=Justine=-

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
11 posted 2001-05-15 10:21 PM


It does read like a song, and it's great.  This is so sweet...excellent work  

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
12 posted 2001-05-15 10:23 PM


stupid...you have to click the add to library button....  

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

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