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Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

0 posted 2001-05-07 11:12 PM

The Sound Of Death

Warriors from both sides prepare to fight
Both equiping weapons of incredible might
Soon the battle will begin in an empty field
For most of these warriors, their fates are sealed

Thousands and thousands of warriors are seen
They fight to protect and serve the queen
Marching forward with hope and pride
Getting ready to crush the other side

Many will be crippled or dead
Some will be captured and chained
Fed nothing but water and bread
For a warriors hands are stained

The two large armies finally meet
Neither of them will accept defeat
Everything is too calm and quiet
Soon, this will break into a riot

Then both sides yell out "FOR THE QUEEN!"
So many falling bodies has never been seen
Grunts, cries, yelling and weapon sounds
are heard in the distance of the battle grounds

Not too many survived this horrible fight
Such a waste to see who had more might
Both sides lost alot of warriors and resources
The need to kill and conquer are embeded forces

Many have been crippled and more are dead
Some have been captured and most are chained
Fed nothing but warm water and moldy bread
For a warriors hands are always stained

Everything went dark and it began to rain
Setting the mood of this death and pain
Thunder and lightning lit the dark sky
As it heard the tremble of an armies war cry

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
~Anonymous

Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

1 posted 2001-05-07 11:13 PM

very cool low man good poem keep it up bud sorry this is one of the first i read from you but know i gotta read them all

later

ben

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it

Low Man's Lyric
Member

since 2001-04-03

Posts 236
In a dream

2 posted 2001-05-07 11:14 PM

I really like this one alot and I hope you guys enjoy it as well.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."
~Anonymous

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-05-07 11:47 PM

Great work, Aaron! Very very impressive, this painted an image in my mind that will linger in my dreams tonight.
How pleasant! You are a great storyteller, I can't wait to see your next poem.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-08 02:40 AM

i just love your storytelling skills throgh poetry awesome no one i've seen like you..great job and keep writing...great poem and i did like it much...keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-05-08 09:54 AM

wow...very vivid...great job!

SEA

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

6 posted 2001-05-08 01:06 PM

This is amazing work Aaron, i went back and re-read this twice. the images are entracing and really draw the reader into this and the flow was great throughout. wonderful work, keep posting lots of beautiful poetry

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Pixie-Babe03
Member

since 2000-08-29

Posts 387
Central Maine

7 posted 2001-05-08 02:34 PM

this is wonderful, this imagery is very impressive! Great work!
*Justine*

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

8 posted 2001-05-15 03:21 AM

*tries to show you his war cry*

Ahem....*coughs*......AHhhhh!!!!!!

Nice eh?

Well done on the poem! I really felt you did great on it. It was a great story and I really liked the ending. I could really envision the events unfolding within the poem. VERY nice and I hope to see more!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

9 posted 2001-05-15 10:35 AM

Very well done I liked the pcture you painted with your words... Very vivid.

Mr mr Zu

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

10 posted 2001-05-16 02:30 AM

Wow, Aaron! This is nothing short of outstanding! The imagery was brilliant and the use of italics really gave the piece that story-like feel. The flow was fairly fluent and it is just a big A+ all round.

~AF~

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
~ Unknown ~

Poet on Acid
Member

since 2001-01-07

Posts 325
Florida, USA

11 posted 2001-05-18 02:08 AM

Great subject matter. I always find that more revealing than the poem itself. Your way of using these words to paint a vivid picture of pain and suffering is excellent. Unfortunatly such waste of lives has not ended with the dark ages but has transformed into more technilogical stages.

"It's too cold in the world...too cold to be alone..." - >¶ØÊ†<

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

12 posted 2001-06-04 10:37 AM

beautiful narration. Exceptional work my friend. keep it up

I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!!

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