Teen Poetry #4 |
he is lost |
sleepymoongirl Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 157bc canada |
He seems so lost in his way He doesn't know what he wants Not knowing what to believe Seeing the shadows of loss that aren't even there Bringing but another shadow of doubt to mind He runs from the light unknowingly Then wonders why the light won't come So broken inside as u go in life there will be ur hardships it is up to u if it makes u or breaks u. |
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© Copyright 2001 Scarlet Saunders - All Rights Reserved | |||
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
kays i likes this one toos the only thing id likes betters bouts it is if u brokes it ups intos stanzas 3:2:3. buts thats just me cuz i likes stanzas heh likes muchs scarlets *hugs* tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice work Scarlet. I like the last line, it was a really kick-butt line. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
*smax scarlet* heheheh just kidding it was a love tap anywho i love ya raven this is a really good poem bye *hugs* ben i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This poem is awesome! VERY nicely done! "He runs from the light unknowingly Then wonders why the light won't come" Wow.. poerful. Nice work! --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
i really like this too..last line...magnificant! *KiMMiE* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked it, but it wasn't as good as some of your others that I have read today. Hope to see more. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
that's really good, where did you learn to write like that? keep writing!!! Stace IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING!!! |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
I'm gunna have to say 'whoa' again. I've seen very few poems like this that I can connect with on this level. This is another great one. Don't stop. "It's too cold in the world...too cold to be alone..." - >¶Øʆ< |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Awww sad... It was still written very well though, it just kinda pulls at my heartstrings though, ya know?? ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is really good, but I think you can add more to it. Keep it up. Thanks for the wonderful read "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
really good poem! I Loved it! you're a good writer, so keep it up.. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great poem...i really liked the emotions and the way u have written this...hope to see more... ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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