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Teen Poetry #4
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My second Paradelle.
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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My second Paradelle. |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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The price of a nation's honour. Brave old boys of England Brave old boys of England Follow to your death Follow to your death Follow your brave England Boys of old to death Glory found in heaven Glory found in heaven Honour shone our hearts Honour shone our hearts Glory honour shone Found heaven in our hearts Nameless men are dying Nameless men are dying Pride of our false idols Pride of our false idols False pride of dying men Nameless are our idols Follow your false pride To death of our boys honour Brave men hearts of old Dying are our idols Heaven found in England Glory shone nameless --- Ok my second attempt at a Paradelle and just as enjoyable as the first, anyway if there is anything out i'd appreciate the correction  Zu. " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Awesome work, Zu! I'm seriously thrilled that you love this format so much, it's just great to see other poets writing them as well! I like this one better than the other, personally. It all seems to be in working order, you did a great job! Am I the only one who is constantly paraniod that I forgot a word or something? I swear after each paradelle I write, I count it over about a thousand times. Heh... we need a fan club.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
You really write beautifully in this format, i love the two paradelles you've done. really remarkable writing, i look forward to reading more. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow.. lots of paradelles here lately. Wonderful job, Zu. I really enjoyed this.. it's a challenge writing poems like this, but you seem to have mastered it pretty well. Nicely done! --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Zu, that a boy..i loved it.. it was better then your first.. arent they just awesome???!!!! I LOVE THEM!! they are great.. and you did an aweomse job on this one!! keep it up... i have some paradelles on the way as well!! ~ Jeff ~ :) |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This is good!! I like this a lot!!! I don't know much about this style... but I like it. Jenn "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Jenn..do you want me to explain this style?? <b>~ Jeff ~</b> :) |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
OK JENN, and for anyone else that doesnt know what a paradelle is... here ya go.. A paradelle is a poem of four six-line stanzas in which the first and second lines, as well as the third and fourth lines of the first three stanzas, must be identical. The fifth and sixth lines, which traditionally resolve these stanzas, must use ALL the words from the preceding lines and ONLY those words. Similarly, the final stanza must use EVERY word from ALL the preceding stanzas and ONLY those words. CONFUSED??? Well, there ya have it! ~ Jeff ~:) |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Thanks for all the positive responses... I wasn't as sure about this one but you guys seem to think it's better... Anyway if you need more info on Paradelles check out the Poetry workshop section. Zu. " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
wow...this kinda formatt is really growing one me!!! i love it awsome job!!! *KiMMiE* |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
this is a beautiful format... i wish i could write in it!! it takes a lot of talent! great work! i will have to look at your first one as well *Justine* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I think you did so very well on this one old chap! Your patriotic way of writing sometimes is admirable. I enjoyed this one immensely!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
like i care what a pradelle is!..hehe just kidding  ...anyways on the poem i thought you idd quite well and i enjoyed this poem lots i think you pretty good at this...hope to see more...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This a magnificent write though it's bout England ~*stands up and applauds*~ you deserve that "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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