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Teen Poetry #4
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Reverie
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Reverie |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania 
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I see your eyelids growing heavy As sleep finally seduces you And you peacefully drift away To a place far away from me. I watch as your chest moves Rhythmically with each breath You embrace and let go I attend to every movement Every sigh, everything you do Your tranquility takes my breath As I wonder what I did to deserve Something so precious and divine I begin pray to God to let you stay With me for evermore in this life And any that are still to come For I will be your protector The one to stand by your side Until the day we fall asleep forever. No harm will ever come to you, The most cherished gift, I will ever receive. You put my soul, my mind, Simply me, at ease. And I cannot help but To fall into the same deep Reverie. ~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~ [This message has been edited by Angel (edited 05-05-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Susan Acacio - All Rights Reserved | |||
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
No replies on page two?!  Very nice poem, Angel. I enjoyed it, it's very sweet and straight forward. The flow was nice, and the words were beautiful. However, I think you overused the word "so". That can easily fixed with a few synonyms.. Nice work, though. The poem had a nice feel to it. Well done! --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wonderful job on this one. Not a safe poem to read at 2:35am in the morning....i almost fell alseep with reading about ....sleeping. Nicely done though.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Wonderful job! It's nice to see you back, considering you were obviously somewhere else for quite a while.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great job on the poem.. i really enjoyed the read.. thanks for sharing.. and keep writing   ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Marie, Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed. Tried to remove some of the so's. Dopey_Dope, Nope, definitely not a good idea to read this poem that early in the morning. Glad you liked it  .Allan, Yup, I think I'm back for good now. Glad you liked it. anonomyous albert ?, Thanks and I will. ~Susie ~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~ |
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