Teen Poetry #4 |
Black and White |
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Who are you to even speak my name? You think I forgot what you did to me? Don’t act as if our lives are still the same. Nothing in life will ever be that free. You like to pretend what you did was right And draw me in your warped out fantasy, But our lives are all too black and white And the fine print you still have failed to see. So when your ways come back to find You lying helpless broken hearted, Keep my painful gaze in mind And remember how all this started. |
||
© Copyright 2001 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great job i like how you wrote this.. strong emotions very well..discribed.. which i liked.. enjoyed much by me..keep writing ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
very strong emotions...good job! ~jO~ |
||
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Hey Kev, Nice to see you back here! Just wanted to say thanks for your comments on my poems... I appreciatte it, man! And I feel the same way about your work. (Oh, how I loved "Bedtime Story"!) As far as this one, to tell you the truth, I've seen better from you. While the emotion is still there, it reads a bit akward... but then again, I was never a good critic. Can't wait to see more! Peace, your fan, M |
||
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
yeah it does =D head over to open...theres a much better one there lol i knew it read awkward i just wanted to put it up anyways to feel better doh! hehe |
||
Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
Ooooh I like this a LOT! I think you have found yourself a loyal follower "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
||
AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
he he he, this was great. I really liked it. ~First they tell you, you can’t sleep alone in a strange place, then they tell you, you can’t sleep with somebody else~ |
||
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
wow..this was GREAT!!..i enjoyed it a lot..its really bitter..but in sum way or the other it really hits you.. cute pic..hehe "Life is not long and boring, |
||
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
you expressed yourself well in this and you from a technical stand point you wrote this beautifully. keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Very nice work! I enjoyed this. Keep it up --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
||
lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
hey, 1st peice ive seen from u...but i like the meaning in this poem alot...but since it was me reading it i couldnt really grasp the flow after the like 4th time lol...but good job,,and i hope ya post some more sutff soon *KiM* |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very good, and it seems like you are bitter Kevin. I know how this feels completely. I been through this a lot of times. Well done on expressing the feeling. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Wow, this was really great. Nice to read from you again. ~Susie ~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~ |
||
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Kev, if you get a chance, could you please read my poem "Spring." I'd like to know what you think... THanks |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |