Lonliness (X2 for Them) - pipTalk Forums

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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-05-03 10:44 PM

Lonliness

How easy
To move as one
A heart beat shared
For the lonliness both have bared

How easy
To steal a kiss
Before second earned
First embrace to be returned

How easy
To escape his soul
To her delight
Only she makes it right

How easy
To forget of time
With nothing to remind them
Of tonight's impending requiem

How difficult
To say goodbye
He misses her touch
She remembers too much

How painful
To tear apart
Two single lovers
Connected at the heart

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

1 posted 2001-05-03 10:48 PM

Wow i really liked this. i can really relate to this poem. great job.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-05-03 11:49 PM

Good job on the poem, but I really like how you changed the word from "easy" into other things near the end. I thought the whole poem should be done like that, instead of mostly "easy" and then a few different.
JMHO
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-04 12:43 PM

i thought the meaning of this poem was the most important of this poem..
i liked it...keep writing...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

4 posted 2001-05-04 08:19 AM

i liked the format of this a lot and i really like the way you wrte the last stanza. you did a good job on this, keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

5 posted 2001-05-04 11:26 AM

Hey I like this alot. Its sooo sad though, but you did write it well...

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

6 posted 2001-05-04 03:47 PM

Ooooh... sad, well-written, and hits close to home *L*

nice work!

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

7 posted 2001-05-04 05:15 PM

"How painful
To tear apart
Two single lovers
Connected at the heart"

Wow.. I really liek this stanza. I enjoyed this a lot, fozzy! very nice work!

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

8 posted 2001-05-05 12:43 PM

this was wonderful.....so painful....wow....i really really felt you did this one well fozzy!!!! It really hit me hard...like really hard.
Well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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