How Like the Moon... - pipTalk Forums

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fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

0 posted 2001-05-02 04:00 AM

How like the moon, imposing... pale....
It comes in cycles... my worries
Spring up, striking my hopes like hail.
I'm now dark with storms and furies.

But my mind's rational haven
Can only give short weak relief
Before it collapses, craven
With fear, darkness and disbelief.

When the sun comes up
It's time to clean up
For my next dark storm.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

1 posted 2001-05-02 08:56 AM

This is cool...I like it...has a good style..

K

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

2 posted 2001-05-02 01:12 PM

I liked this alot. Showed great imagery.

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-05-02 02:47 PM

I enjoyed this frac. Well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

4 posted 2001-05-03 07:17 AM

A nice style... it was lacking meter or anything fancy like that but it had rhyme, which I thought complimented it well enough.
Nice job Frac.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-05-03 02:02 PM

"How like the moon, imposing... pale....
It comes in cycles... my worries"

Those two lines were the best. Nice opening to the poem..
Nicely done, frac.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

6 posted 2001-05-06 03:29 PM

it was good...but u know me frac, it went right over my head, lol. but hey, I'm still new at this...lol.
cya
stace

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

7 posted 2001-05-07 04:40 AM

Thanks all for the replies.

Allan, sorry it did not please you technically, lol. J/K.

Stace, glad you liked it. Glad to see u here. Try writing something. The people here won't bite.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

8 posted 2001-05-07 08:33 PM

How like the moon, imposing... pale....
It comes in cycles... my worries" <~~~ that was my fav. part nice job on this peice!
*KiMMiE*

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