Teen Poetry #4 |
The First One To Give Up |
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This one really isnt one of my best. I just wrote it yesterday, really quickly but I'm at school now (grounded from the net at home) and I wanted to post something and it's the only one I have so...Bear with me... ~*Nikki*~ ____________________________________________________ ~The First One To Give Up~ The invisible tears run down my cheeks, as they melt away my heart. No use in trying to put it together, it's already broken apart. The silent echoes of my piercing screams, Shatter the delicate glass. No use in trying to forget the heartache, I'll always remember my past. I'm so sick of the complaints, the lectures, the fake compassion. And even worse, the most painful pain, must be the verbal bashing. Please don't tell me I can fight it, I've been fighting every day. Now it's all so completely useless, I must find another way. Please don't tell me to be strong, or to try to be tough. Because the reality of the matter is I'll be the first one to give up. ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
© Copyright 2001 Nikki - All Rights Reserved | |||
chas Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 101Lynn, ma |
this is great, i like how the entire poem builds up to the last line, there is a lot more to like about this poem, but i am lazy, so i won't write it all.. peace out and take care. |
||
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
your grounded too? damn same here...grrr... I know the feeling......your poem is awesome....something i think about alot Regina "Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay |
||
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
we should start a grounded from the computer support group, my parents did the same thing last night after i showed them my recent grades anyway, i really like this poem, the rhyme scheme is really good and unique, it definetely caught my attention. you did a great job on this, keep posting all your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Hey guys thanks for the replies. I think I'm gonna bring in my poem book 2morrow and post a better one during school...So why are yall grounded? I am because I failed Spanish,and i think there was another reason or 2 but I dont really remember..Anyways, thanks guys. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
funny, there is always a way around being grounded....LOL....I spent most of my life grounded LOL I thought this was great, but I think from what I've read, that you'd be the last to give up SEA |
||
Silver Butterfly Junior Member
since 2001-03-13
Posts 42Between here and the end |
This doesn't suck as badly as you think it does. It was actually pretty good. Just there were two sets of words that didn't really rhyme. First "compassion" and "Bashing" and then "tough" and "up". If you change those it will be awesome. |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
No giving up! The poem was well done and i did like it VERY much, but no giving up! Ya hear?! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
that was an awsome poem nik..but member i love you..and just so you dont gotta be first..ill give up b4 ya!!! and whats this about~~~> I'm so sick of the complaints, the lectures, the fake compassion. And even worse, the most painful pain, must be the verbal bashing. my compassion is for real...you should know that....and i dont lecture..i enlighten lol...im just looking out for you!! srry hun, im always here for you..know that k?? luv ya!!! *KiM* ::::HUGS:::: |
||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
the poem had so much to tell... and i got every emotion and thought.. i really liked this poem... great job.... ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Hey guys, thanks again for the replies. But you see, one of my deepest fears is that I will give up, and I know that sooner or later I will. I try to be strong, but you can only be strong for so long before you HAVE 2 give up, and Im getting to that point...*Ouch* Oh well..Thanks.... ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
ha ha --- see you found away around it. Thanks for sharing this. Stay strong and keep your head up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
great work! i liked it a lot *Justine* -=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=- |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |