Teen Poetry #4 |
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The Trail to the Mountains of Collaboration |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair ![]() |
No monotonous note, you know what its about by the style. (Long title too!) Enjoy. "The Trail to the Mountains of Collaboration" F or what rationale do I abide. F ear of devotion, dispersed aside. R ust crowns upon my tongue, R evoking words that could’ve rung. U niformly we draw our swords, U ngratefulness constantly soared. S o here I am, awaiting a sign. S upposively, it’ll come this time. T ake my hand, we’ll fare this journey, T railing intricate roads to empathy. R emain a steadfast pace; don’t lag. R ural lands effects your will to sag. A nd we’ll subjugate mountains of trial, A s sense glues our minds, liberating denial. T o linger here much longer, is to die. T hink of departing and unburdening a sigh. I t spawns acceptance among us two. I interweaving threads, in me and you. O ver landscapes of greatness, we prevail. O nto the next enterprise; do not bail. N ever let it go, we’ll hike as one. N o wrong in killing it, under the sun. J.D. Raulinaitis 1/21/01 "Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood |
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© Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
as i've already said, great post.... beautiful imagery, great style, wow ![]() Salma |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
Woah! This is so wicked cool!! I love the style! Great work ![]() ![]() |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very creative here jer. Good job on this one. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Apart from a few breaks in the reading cuz of syllables, this was a truly great piece. The talent you possess with word choices is stupendous. ![]() ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Nice use of the style, and nice job on the poem ![]() "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I hate following Carly's replies cause she always seems to find the right words to describe the poem best. For this, I'll just have to keep my mouth closed Let me say though that you are very talented JD keep sharing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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