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HappyPretender
Junior Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 38
Prince George, VA

0 posted 2001-05-01 09:01 AM

Look In My Eyes

Look in my eyes
Do you really see me
Look in my eyes
Do you see what I could be
Look in my eyes
Can you see the tears

Look in my eyes
Can you feel the pain
Look in my eyes
Can you feel the hurt
Look in my eyes
Can you feel the heartbreak

Look in my eyes
What do you see
Look in my eyes
Do you really know me
Look in my eyes
See the happy and the sad
The look in my eyes
With feelings good or bad.

<3~*Rachael*~<3
*we can't become what we need to be by remaining what we are*

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

1 posted 2001-05-01 09:05 AM

I had to reply to your poem. It was great. It is so true. You have to accept the good in a person with the bad. Keep it up!

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow. I feel kinda sorry for it...

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

2 posted 2001-05-01 10:22 AM

Sometimes I wish someone, anyone, could look in my eyes and see who I really am. But considering I don't even know that, I doubt anyone else ever will. Good work though.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-01 11:38 AM

i liked this cuz it is true to some point...
very good job and keep wrtiing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-01 09:47 PM

Not your best. For me, and this is my personal the opinion....the repetitive phrase was.....too repetitive hehe....know what i mean? LIke......
Repeat
line
repeat
line
repeat
line
and so on....if I were to ever use a repeat i'd use it so that it's not bunched up together in a cluster, but like I said...this is strictly my opinion!
Nicely done though. I liked the message. Hope he sees what's in your eyes.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

5 posted 2001-05-02 10:52 PM

I disagree with Javier, I think the repitition was fine. In fact, I truly enjoyed this poem.

It flowed well and had a nice theme and scheme.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

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