navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Please don't give up on me
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Please don't give up on me Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2001-04-07 08:24 PM


I sit here quietly and enshrouded
Wondering what you are thinking
How you are feeling
And if I'll ever see your smile again
The radio is even playing our song
Please tell me where my heart went wrong
I am strong, though you would never be able to tell
Since it is my soul that feels as if it's falling down a bottomless well
My mind races
Wondering once I hit rock bottom if you'll be there
Please don't give up on me
I finally tossed destiny the key
And I hate constantly wondering
When I can't hear your voice
Or drink in your soul you so bravely exposed upon your lips
When we exchanged our very first kiss.....

"Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night"

~Crash and Burn~

© Copyright 2001 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-04-07 08:46 PM


This is just so touching.... it made my heart ache.  Kudos on a splendid job, Kristen.  
~Allan

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
2 posted 2001-04-07 10:18 PM


This is sweet!  Beautifully written... Nice job.

--Marie

"Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul."  --Emily Dickinson

Empty tears
Member
since 2001-03-12
Posts 64

3 posted 2001-04-08 02:04 AM


All i can say is that i totally agree with Allan & Marie-very nicely done
~Brittany~

Death is but an escape from loneliness

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-04-08 02:55 AM


This was sad. Looks like your recipe for destiny had a little too much salt in it. Hope all gets well.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Linc
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
5 posted 2001-04-08 09:29 AM


Hey,

    Great poem, loved it keep it up blah blah blah   just kidding for real. This is a great peom and I really did like it. Until your next poem ( I can't tell if its sad to me or not *shrug* )

        -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
6 posted 2001-04-09 12:38 PM


Wonderful job on this poem, very well written.  great job and keep posting

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-05-02 10:16 PM


"And I hate constantly wondering
When I can't hear your voice
Or drink in your soul you so bravely exposed upon your lips
When we exchanged our very first kiss....."

Such beautiful and loving words.
WOW!!!
What more can I say?
~*applauds*~
I love it

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Please don't give up on me

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary