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ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

0 posted 2001-04-30 09:36 PM

theres no explanation for this...i just wrote it. sorry if it sux!

if i could fix all the problems in the world
then i would
if helping a worthy person of something, cost my life
then my life would be gone
if switching places with someone would make their life better
then i would switch places
if innocent people weren't dying
then i would not cry
if i could have everything in the world
then i wouldnt want it
if i had absolutely nothing except love
then i would spread it
if i could put to use all of my energy
then i would be exhausted but happy
if i could change anything about me
then i probably wouldnt change anything
if i could change one person's life everyday
then i would be self satisfied
if i knew everything that there was to know
then life would have no challenges
if life were as easy as it could be
then horizons would not be so broad
if there was no color in the world
then it would shrivel and die
if there was no love
then the world would kill its self
if there were no more if's
then the world would be perfect

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-18

Posts 733

1 posted 2001-04-30 09:54 PM

WOW Obeth that was GREAT!! Dang..speechless..uh...uhh.....

Bel

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-04-30 10:48 PM

very good job...
and nooo it didnt suck
i thought u did quite well..
also had some thoughts i do question also
keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-30-2001).]

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-04-30 11:08 PM

A perfect world huh? Is that possible?
Very well done....thought provoking.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

4 posted 2001-05-01 06:46 AM

gracias ppls!!

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-05-03 08:39 PM

I love your thoughts in this poem. All in all the poem was done real good, but at the same I still would try to smooth the poem's transition from you to the world. Great poem though. keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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