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broken wing
Junior Member

since 2001-04-30

Posts 37

0 posted 2001-04-30 08:54 PM

last night you think you hurt my feelings
it wasnt you
dont worry about it
...well, it was you just a little bit
but mostly it was just me

so, your sorry for hurting my feelings last night?
your my friend and i forgive you

last night i think i hurt your feelings
it wasnt you im sorry about it
...well, it was you just a little bit
but mostly it was just me

so, im sorry for hurting your feelings last night.
your my friend and i hope you forgive me.

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

1 posted 2001-04-30 09:44 PM

wow, this is a really great piece, i really like the way that you wrote this and i especially liked the voice that you used. keep posting all your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-04-30 11:10 PM

This was pretty to the point. Well done in expressing. Hope things get better!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-04-30 11:12 PM

nice job on gettin the point across to the reader it did in its best way...
great job and keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-05-09 01:17 PM

I hope you give this to your friend

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

5 posted 2001-05-09 08:50 PM

Interesting, but not really glittering with great writing technique.
I didn't like this one too much, it seemed like you just said things... you know what I mean?
Nothing personal. Keep on posting all your work.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

6 posted 2001-05-09 09:01 PM

i like the concept alot it was just a lil confussing for me lol
*KiMMiE*

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