»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Crystal Catacombs - Retrospective (entry 11, final)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Crystal Catacombs - Retrospective (entry 11, final) |
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
|
a ceiling sparkling crystalline confines me down to dig the earth and plant the seeds upon the scene to blatantly express my worth a tree grows now, and falls again I sigh, and sit upon a stone and carve into my infant skin a verse to read, and chant alone words can bleed, and people die alone do fall the stars so high and sitting, standing, as am I the grass to bind my feet the past behind condemns to find my feelings of defeat to sit as one beneath the sun and let the maggots eat a love to find within a soul and then a love to do without accusing, swallowing me whole engulfing my desire and doubt I lay beside the casket lace and carve a word of love to send for kingdoms lost within her face I bite my nails for days on end words can bleed, and people die alone do fall the stars so high and sitting, standing, as am I the grass to bind my feet the past behind condemns to find my feelings of defeat to sit as one beneath the sun and let the maggots eat alone, a loss, a fiend am I I bite my nails until I die |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Incredible Allan! Intense images, a wealth of wisdom....this is one of the best things I've read from you. I'm impressed, my friend!  *Krista Knutson* |
||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
And so the series ends. An impressive ending.. very powerful and very well-written. This entire series has been a treat to trace, and you definently didn't disappoint with the ending. I especally love your use of repitition, it really emphisized the imporant parts... thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
||
|
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
omg! like ummmmm WOW!!!!!!!!!! *is gonna look up the rest of the series* great job allan! lol glad u finished it  tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” "at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet" [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 04-29-2001).] |
||
|
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
opps forgot to add this to me library! allans fault...yet again :P LOL tiff “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
||
|
JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Great ending alan, its amazing!! I loved every line in that poem. U are wonderful!  |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great job and the repitition of the two stanzas worked very well in this poem... i liked it..keep writing   ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Allan, this is most definitely a fitting finish to such a marvellous series. Your imagery was superb and the rhyme scheme suited it brilliantly. The images that you have painted in my mind will stay around for quite a while. Bravo, Allan. ~AF~ " Your mother's in here with us Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it." |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Ahem...forgot to press the library button...  " Your mother's in here with us Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it." |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
the series as a whole is one of the most impressive collections of writing i have ever laid eyes on. you used lots of formats and styles and really showed throughout how incredibly talented a writer you are. every format you used, you made your own and wrote every poem in this series beautifully. it has truly been a pleasure to read. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
You're on a roll Allan! This was great! I really did enjoy this poem. The whole thing.....the flow, the scheme.....everything. Very well done on this.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
Another masterpeice made by Allan, congrats my friend. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend." |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Outstanding work!! Each one in the series just keeps getting better and better... I thought the last few were the best I've read in the series, but this one tops them all. Wonderful work, my friend! You always seem to impress me more and more with every post.. how do you do it?  Nicely done! --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Hey. . . I've gotta find the rest of this series. . . it's really good Allan. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
I LOVE THIS!!! awsome job hun!!! the best poem ive read in quite a while... to the library it goes!!! *KiM* "i once asked my daddy, daddy, are we going to the moon, and he said, we cant get to the moon from where we are" ~ME (hehe this actully happened to me |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Allan: This was great. You are definitely improving. This is the best I've seen from you yet. I especially enjoyed the rhythm and the way in which the rhymes worked out so well. Great job! "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
