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Teen Poetry #4
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I didn't mean to
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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I didn't mean to |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733
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I didn't mean to argue Or accuse you of telling lies As tears welled up in my big brown eyes. I didn't mean to bother you I didn't mean to make you scared I suppose my explanations have left you unprepared. I didn't mean to worry you I didn't mean to fall I really didn't mean to be dizzy at all. I didn't mean to shock you As almost you did see My obssession, my companion, my enemy. I didn't mean to hurt you As almost did you hear That voice inside of me often do I fear. I didn't mean to confuse you In hiding myself from you I revealed more than you never knew. I didn't mean to argue I really didn't mean to... I don't know what this is. It's about my boyfriend, who I don't expect to read this. The rhyme scheme isn't great, but nothing I write really is. So just go ahead and say whatever you want. Thanks Bel |
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| © Copyright 2001 Isabel Galaxia - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey Bel, nice to see you again.  Now about your poem, the scheme wasn't bad, but what I really liked was the alternating line sizes. It had a neat flow due to all of this. Still I think it should have one more line at the end, one of the long lines, to wrap the poem up. It seemed like it didn't quite end enough. Well done nonetheless, I hope everything turns out for the better. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This sounds like a really bad situation. It's tough when the things you do twist into results with such irony. You describe it well. It's good to see you around again, and I hope to see you posting again soon!  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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CLBinLOVE Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147Hilton Head, SC, USA |
well i read it anyway  i guess all i can say is its ok, because i probably dont understand, i probably dont really know, but its ok... i am blinded by the silence of a breaking heart... i cant see myself |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
It was good. Well done! You should come around here more. We miss you!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I do believe you did a good job on this one Isabel. I actually enjoyed reading it and no moment in time did I feel like it just reminds me of other poems I've already read. You did really good. keep it up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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ethel lahootie Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 143SC, USA |
yO bel i duno if ur gonna read this...but ill proly tell u tomorrow. i dont wanna forget tho...ok. wel i read clb's poem and almost the whole time through it i was thinking that it HAD to be bout that thing that me and u was talkin bout. then i read the ending. BOY was i WRONG! hehe wel tell me how that "thing" works out aight? good *luck*~jO~  |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
well, i like all of the work that i've read by you and i really hope that you keep posting your writing. i liked this piece especially for the format you used and the way that it flowed. always love reading your poetry, keep posting your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Acire- Thanks  .Jobethel- I KNOW right!!?!!!?!!! Peter- Thank you Means alotThanks again everyone Bel |
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