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Teen Poetry #4
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knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-04-28 01:35 PM


I hear you crying out for hellp
I come
I see you reaching out your hand
I grasp
I feel you hurting on the inside
I comfort
I smell the pride you exude
I ease
I taste the bitterness you hide
I forgive
I sense you drawing away
I let go

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

© Copyright 2001 Tiffany Durham - All Rights Reserved
Angel Bee
Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia
1 posted 2001-04-28 01:49 PM


i liked this poem, good job. keep writing,
~ab~

*~Sometimes just holding hands is holding on to everything.~*

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-04-28 02:46 PM


Nice job!  Good use of verbs, great format, very creative!     You are a constant pleasure to read.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
3 posted 2001-04-28 05:08 PM


This was very good. Nice work. powerful imagery and imapct.

Regina

"Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you"bon jovi

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-04-28 06:25 PM


this poem was nice..
good job!
and keep wrting

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-04-29 05:33 PM


This was grea, but why did you left go? If anything you should hold on to something you love as long as possible.
Anyhow, nicely done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
6 posted 2001-04-29 05:54 PM


i let go becuz they needed the space and time of me not being there. when they are ready to come back to me if they do at all......they will! atleast thats wut i believe javier.
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
7 posted 2001-04-30 10:48 AM


So simple and yet so powerful..I like this alot.  Its hard to let go of something that you love, but if you really love it, letting go may be the best thing to do.  Great work on this, its going in my library.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-05-04 01:18 PM


Awesome...proven again: "simplicity is beauty"

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

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