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Teen Poetry #4
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The White Curse
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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The White Curse |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... 
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Tears trickled down Her cracked porcelain face. Crimson lips quivered Like delicate spider lace. Internal vision blurred As her soul cried within. Retching out rejection. The healing cannot yet begin. Minds' body broken Through Loves' insatiable thirst. Insanitys' brink crossed In a world where white is cursed. |
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| © Copyright 2001 cherish - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
.....wow..... |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Hey, I really like this. The words that you chose worked really well and I think you did a good job expressing yourself. Its sad though... I wish you could be happy.  ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i really liked the way u written this poem.. awesome job on tellin ur emotions.. i really enjoyed this one..great poem keep writing  p.s...its albert!!!!!!!!!!!!!   ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Don't mind Alberta.  I have to say that this poem really did strike me as wonderful, very creative wording and organization. Awesome job, Cherish. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Cherish you know I loved the poem....sent a whole e-mail on it trying to help you hehe. I loved it....liked the corrections too.... Great job, as usual!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Woah...ha, I don't know what that did to me, but that hit hard! BANG! I LOVE it! It's strong, yet somehow soft to me, but I don't know, I'm weird anyway! (Weird - orginal: same bleep different pile) anyway, into library, and post another! No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Cherish, this is a beautiful poem. The descriptions really made me think. Wonderful job.. I liked this quite a lot. Nicely done. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
the images in this poem are greally wonderful, i really like the wording of this piece. the flow was pretty good throughout too. great job on this, keep posting your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, I agree with Marie this is really great and I enjoyed reading it its superb even! I am putting it in my library. Until your next masterpeice "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
wow... im happy that you guys enjoyed it sooo much it means a lot to me (elephants javvie.. )thanx EVERYBODY!!! you guys are the bestest "Life is not long and boring, |
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Postman Pat Junior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 23The Great Land DownUnder |
AHH. Now this is one that I remember reading! I really like this poem- you know that much already dontcha bebe? For some reason it sounds more like a "real" poem or something like that-maybe because it rhymes and all that. I think you did very well on this one- again i know that the situation and all that sux- but you wrote it well. Love ya! |
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