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Teen Poetry #4
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Saving Grace
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Saving Grace |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia 
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I'm leaving for a few days.. This is the last post before I go.  I hope you don't miss me too much  I'll come back and read everyone's stuff I've missed  Everyone write beautiful poetry for me to come to, okay? Alrighty then..  Now for my poem...------------------------------------------------------------------ Saving Grace I know a girl with Bloody hands and bare feet. And she always hangs her head as we Pass shoulders, As if I’m a dusty emblem, Representing something She doesn’t have... Her lips are covered with ashen lies, But they still called her beautiful, And the rest were only clans of followers, With dirty fingernails And unparted hair... I save my sorrows until after dark, When the flowers nearly burst With their own perfumes, And the sky is almost fluid, Like gray liquor, But there are too many moonrises to watch, And I just don’t have enough words To paint them with. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really enjoyed this poem marie.....wow. The ending was great and the whole theme of the poem rocked. WELl done, very well done. I see how your poetry is improving along with every new post you put up here. I am always impressed by your work. Looking forward to your next poem after you come back from wherever it is you're going  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Crystalina123 Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228 |
I'm reading this poem and I think I"ve got it. Then I read it a second or a third time and I get another meaning out of it. The poem reminds of an army of mindless followers who blindly follow societies norms. I'm not sure if I'm on track here, but either way, I really like this poem. "I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be the greatest fan of your life." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Outstanding work, Marie! This is really really good, it had the feel that "hate" did. I love your usage of similies, your creative wordings... and "I save my sorrows until after dark, When the flowers nearly burst With their own perfumes" THAT part is incredible. Awesome work. One of my favourites, a milestone that goes to my library. Can't wait to see you return. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wowww  great poem... awesome description.. i really liked this one.. but i'm sad 2 hear u r leavin' hope u come back soon since i'll be missin ur poetry and of course u the most.. anyways.. have fun wherever u r headin and write some poetry there.. alright then.. cya..   ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
kays i woke up  this was great!so sad. im addin it to my library As if I’m a dusty emblem, Representing something She doesn’t have... Her lips are covered with ashen lies, But they still called her beautiful, ^ loved that tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” "at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet" [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 04-27-2001).] |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
I definitely like this. It's kinda got a sad, somber, and yet spooky theme to it. At least that's what I felt when I read it. Good work. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Beautiful poem. It has a really strong meaning. Very nice! *~*Amanda*~* |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, *Sniff* I will miss you * I loved the poem and now I am going to go cry some more :'( bye -- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Cripes Marie.......oh man this was good...Don't go for too long, I'll miss your talent too much...Have a sunshine day and many more for when you're away...Yeah this is goin into the library...man....sheesh...wow....ok I'm done...  ~Carly "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears." ~Kahil Gibran |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
There are so many times that i read something you've written and i finish it in awe of your talent. the images are incredible and your words only slightly less beautiful than you i miss you baby, come back to me soon.Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow, you guys. Thanks for the replies! I'm glad everyone liked it. --Marie Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Holy crap Marie!!! *faints* This is...just wowish. I LOVE how you wrote this. No one could possible write it better if they tried!! I have nothing to say that could possibly give you enough praise so I'll say well done and leave it at that. ~AF~ "Always keep focus on your dreams because most often than not that's all you'll have." - Javier |
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