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Caged Roses
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Caged Roses |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia 
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This is very different from how I usually write. I've been trying new things lately, and this one's full of symbolism. Just something new.. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- We're doves in this lake of weapons with Eyes bleeding peace. Sidearms and combat boots and Hearts drowning in the muddy battlefield... The horizon is nothing but dry lightning, Electric dust suffocating my memory, But it's been years since the sun came out. And even longer Since it rained water instead of Pebbles - I've ripped so many silhouettes apart with this Dull knife... I think I've forgotten Which side, I’m fighting for. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. [This message has been edited by Fading Away (edited 04-25-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Wow.....this is very creative and expressive!  SEA |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a really powerful piece. The symbolism is really strong, and I can't say that I understand everything behind it, but I liked it all the same. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
Great poem. The images come in strong on this one, great description and symbolism. ~ali 2Good |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this VERY much. Wow this was such a great write. I so loved this poem. VERY well done on everything within the poem. The ending was great! Wowish.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
thats great that u tryin new styles and this one turned out wonderful.. i really liked it .. enjoyed ur poem marie! thanks for sharin and keep writin...   ..?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-26-2001).] |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
There is a load of great symbolism in here, I thought it was absoloutely marvelous.Keep up with the experimenting. Zu " The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
i really liked this one th e symbolism was incredible it was a very strong piece i thnk you did an excellent job hun keep it up *hugs* i love ya ben redshaw the great and now and forever totally in love i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
oh no how dare i i did a double post plz forgive me friends i shall try and never do it again ben redshaw the great and now and forever totally in love [This message has been edited by Godsend_1 (edited 04-26-2001).] |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, I hate to say it but...this poem isn't on of my favorites of you but never the less its still good and I hope you continue to try new things Until your next masterpeice-- Linc "Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment." |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
For some reason I'm with Linc... this didn't appeal to me particularily. Must just be the new form you are using. But hey, you seem to have a lot of admirers of it so keep it up, girl.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
I LOVE your ending!!! OMG! It totally kicks major ass!! *calming down* It is a different style from you which is a good thing because it means your branching out into unfamiliar territory. I applaud your bravory.  Another wonderful write. Will you ever get tired of my praise?  ~AF~ "Always keep focus on your dreams because most often than not that's all you'll have." - Javier |
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