Teen Poetry #4 |
roughness of life |
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
hey everyone.....im back for a whhile....ill be here off and on for a couple of months. "Roughness of Life" These eyes of life grow wild Shadowed with the storms of yesterday Swollen cheeks bleed in anger Chorus(1st): Pull me close, hold me dear Take all of me, grip on to me We can make it through this time Roughness of life (2x) Shout my name into the rain And all you will hear is silence My hunger burns holes in your heart Shall I hold onto your shoulders? Chorus(1st)....... Chorus (2nd) Shatter our emotions Destroy our lives How does it feel to lose? Chorus(1st).....(2x) Chrorus(2nd0...(2x) Regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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© Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I can't really judge songs, but this seems like a wonderful one. Your words are full on emotion and very well-written. Thanks for sharing. "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
This song is so nice...I liked it a lot. It reminds me of some hard times in my life I glad I remembered though because it's those times which made me take a hold of what was left of my life then. I started moving forward and when things started to get tough again looked back so I can get the stength to move forward. Love it, keep posting Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
lalalalala.... oh! this was a great song.. as u could of seen.hehe...thanks 4 sharing.. and keep writing ...? death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey Regi, may i put this in the digital magazine? Get back to me on this...send me a message on icq....i wanna ask you a few things about the song in private I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Wonderful job on the song, Regina! I really think this has a lot of potential. However when I started songwriting, Javier pointed out to me that I should be careful how much chorus I put in the song. Your chorus absolutely dominates this song, are you sure that's really what you want? If I were you I'd trim it down just a bit, or add more "verses." Either way the wording of this song is marvelous, but some of the organization should be rearranged. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This is serious garbage....crap....everything you could think of.... ash it...its yucky....im not an organized person. thats my message. Regina a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I really like this song! I could almost put a tune to it.. Very nicely done! --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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bigfuzzybear Junior Member
since 2001-04-29
Posts 11 |
i like it! you can hold my shoulders:-*, love you, brad |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
~*puts arms around Ina's waist and slow dances with her*~ stay strong Ina "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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