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Teen Poetry #4
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complicated emotions and thoughts in one....."untitled poem"
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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complicated emotions and thoughts in one....."untitled poem" |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i bet u wonderin' y in the world did i said that of this poem ?? but u'll knoe if u read this sooooo..enjoy ya..... . . . who am i ? how did i get here ? where do i go from here ? but why do i think these thoughts thats troubling my blinded mind , in this dead soul cause my life has shown me no mercy cause my life only shown me misery as my tears are gone by unseen to the eye as my screams are gone by untold by the mind as my cries are gone by unheard to the ear as my love is gone by unfelt by the heart then lives are only left to be unlived by the soul so when you see me... smiling in happiness , living outside but not knowing at the same time what you dont see is me... crying in sadness , dying inside . . . sorry it was long but i jus wanted to put this in one poem instead of short poem cuz they all similar emotions and thoughts hope u all liked it...byee....  ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-25-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 ALBY - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is so sad...but then, so real....I remember feeling this way.....I think you did a good job of expressing these feelings  SEA |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
hey albert i really liked this poem it was heart felt i know how ya felt anywho bud i love ya man *hugs to all esp albert* ben redshaw the great i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be......so deal with it |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is so amazing(the poem i mean). don't think that you have to be strong for anyone. if you feel sad then be sad. ~kate Life will always go on just remember to stay focused and positive. |
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
Oh... how sad... I felt this way already.... You expressed how you feel really good I like this poem a lot. Hope you feel better.  Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity. |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
This was a very realistic piece. i liked it and hope to read more. I hope you are feeling better. Keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front." "You are special and unique in your own way." "Always remember compliments you received; forget about the rude [This message has been edited by Chel (edited 04-25-2001).] |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
Wowwie, this was very emotionaly deep and thought-provoking... not to mention sad... I really liked this part: "as my cries are gone by unheard to the ear as my love is gone by unfelt by the heart" well done |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
"cause my life has shown me no mercy cause my life only shown me misery" I like the way you organized this poem. The emotions were expressed clearly and sincerely, great job on the poem "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Not long at all! I liked the poem a lot. I found it to be one of my favs by you. hope to see more.....MORE!!!!!!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Good job Albert! I like how the couplet size diminished as the poem went on, and recovered in spots towards the end. This was really creative! ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I really like the way you started this poem with questions, and the repitition in the couplets really worked well! Nice work, Albert! This is very good writing. VERY nicely done! --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
thanks every1 soo much... i'm really glad u guys got.. what i truly was sayin in this poem.. u guys r jus great..hehe thanks once again..cya  ...?death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This is really good, but I hope to see a happy sequel to it! As for a title what about "What you Don't See". Just a suggestion. I like this piece alot. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This was very good. I liked the way you wrote it.  "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
this is a really awsome piece, i liked it a lot. it was sad and the ending especially made it so, but it was really well written. great job on this. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
ALBERTA!!! this was wonderful...you know i think everyones felt this way at one point or other in their lives..and part of the time you're wishing that sumone would come along and NOTICE you and ..i dont know...help you in your predicament...but part of you doesnt want to show it or tell it to anyone...*sighs*....but you put it so well...i loved the poem hun.. "Life is not long and boring, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Appearances defy what you truly feel. Happy on the outside, sad on the inside. You cry without crying, you die without dying. I liked the poem as I said before. My little in depth analysis is short, but I did probe it a bit. I think it was wonderful as usual. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
me ALBERT!!!.. would like to thanks all you guys for replying to this poem.. and dopey thanks again for your in depth anaylze..cya.. ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Albert, this was a really emotional poem. You done good my friend. Do you ask yourself all these questions that you know you yourself can't answer. The "what if this and what if that" questions? These will only make things worse. If you are thinking of those, I recommend you stop cause it'll only drive you insane. Enough with my blabbing.....thanks for sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
OMG, i loved this one. i can totally relate to everything you said in here. awesome poem here. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
ALby.. this was soo good.. u put so many deep hard feelings into this.. the couplets worked out great.. i love ur style..and i want to read more from you!! Keep your head up for me ok??? $ Jeff $ : ) |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
i think that everyone has felt this way at one time or another..awsome job hun~! i liked this *KiMMiE* |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
I really like the emotions that you put in. The couplets really help set the mood. |
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broken wing Junior Member
since 2001-04-30
Posts 37 |
you meant this one? i liked this. good job. broken "The sun in your eyes made some of the lies worth believing." |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Jelly shot murderer, you already know my in depth feelings towards this. This is definitely what I needed to read right now. Thanks and talk to you later. ~AF~ Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. |
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Wood_Stock Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 58The little yellow |
I really liked this poem. No scratch that. I REALLY liked this poem... hmmm... that sounds better. This is an awsome piece of work. Very well written, and very real. Keep up the good work. |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
hey albert, i'm here again because i think this one deserves more than twenty five replies actually just hanging out in your thread makes me feel that much sexier (hey somebody has to pick up the slack with dopey gone)Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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