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Teen Poetry #4

Cant you see

Some One
Junior Member

since 2001-04-07

Posts 10

0 posted 2001-04-24 12:53 PM

Can't you see my despair,
Can't you tell how much I care?
Do you think I'm not proud,
Are my feelings not too loud?

Must I shout to make you hear,
Will you come if I shed a tear?
Must I live my life in vain,
Can't you feel my growing pain?

Pain from love I must hide,
Because your eyes aren't open wide
To see the love I have for you,
To last you for a lifetime through.

If I were able, I would start
Your heart beating with my heart.
Your mind thinking my thoughts of you,
Then you would know... my love is true.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-04-24 12:58 PM

nicely written on this poem
thanks for sharin
lot of emotions...
enjoyed this one
great poem..keep writing

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-24-2001).]

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

2 posted 2001-04-24 06:00 PM

This one really made me think of your other one... they seem like they could even be added to one another to create one larger poem instead of two smaller ones.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-04-24 10:24 PM

I liked this single poem..don't combine them hehe. Good job.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-04-25 07:35 PM

I think that the way they are as separate poems might work better, actually..
Nice work, I liked this, and I hope to see more from you.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

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