Teen Poetry #4 |
Wishing |
LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
“Wishing” Pangs of sorrow At thoughts of yesterdays gone by Wishing you had never said goodbye Dreams of the past Haunt me every night Making it so I never want to see the days dawning light Torment in the present Knowing I can not hold you close Just when I needed you the most Visions of the future Leave me feeling utterly alone Knowing that love shall never again be known All this leaves me wishing… Wishing … Wishing you had never said goodbye It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. I've learned that even when you [This message has been edited by LoneWolf (edited 04-24-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Colin Heffernan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice job, I liked repitition of "wishing." It read aloud very neat. Once again, hope all turns up roses for you. ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow, i really liked this. Great use of repetition! I really thought this rocked. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
After Allan's comment I went back and read it aloud, and it does sound pretty neat. Good job. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Great job! I have to agree with everyone else. The repition was a great affect. *~*Amanda*~* |
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