Teen Poetry #4 |
untitled.... PLEASE EVERYONE READ AND REPLY... I WANNA KNOW WHAT U THINK |
princess^sarah Member
since 2001-01-12
Posts 131melbourne |
A fire of passion burns within my heart With flames of violet and flames of coral. The raging fire dances in celebration Of our banquet of love. A token is kindled in these flames. Your coral is the heart of my violet spirit. The fervent heat blazes in remembrance Of our sensory union. for a very special person..... |
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© Copyright 2001 sarah alford - All Rights Reserved | |||
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
wow..that one was nice...it summed up passion very well. i think its a great poem and if you really want some advice i think that the only thing i could offer is to make it a bit longer...not that it isnt GREAT on its own! about the title..well "burning passion" springs to mind...but i think that thats rather cliched and you might not like it..but sweet poem anyways..i hope that that helped you "Life is not long and boring, |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
beautiful poem sarah...i really liked it the poem itself was wonderful..the words,the emotions and the thoughts and how u put them in the poem..jus another one of ur masterpieces LOL..hehe..yea bye on the title.. i have no idea,WAIT!!... ..............sorry thought i did but i really dont and the length i liked it how it is. i dont think a poem must be long but jus able 2 get the meaning to the reader across efficiently is long enough as long as the reader gets the true beauty of what u were tryin say..anyways..cya ...? death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-24-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this very much. It really shows how you feel for the person. Well done! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Nice job on this, I think it expresses these emotions so deeply. Good job! "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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Terryloveiris_85 Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 61The middle of nowhere |
This poem was nice.I liked it. It expresses feelings well. Nice job. Iris |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You seem to be more emotional on this one. Like you pur your feelings more into this. Thanks for the beautiful read Sarah. keep it up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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