untitled.... PLEASE EVERYONE READ AND REPLY... I WANNA KNOW WHAT U THINK

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Teen Poetry #4

untitled.... PLEASE EVERYONE READ AND REPLY... I WANNA KNOW WHAT U THINK

princess^sarah
Member

since 2001-01-12

Posts 131
melbourne

0 posted 2001-04-24 02:33 AM

A fire of passion burns within my heart
With flames of violet and flames of coral.
The raging fire dances in celebration
Of our banquet of love.
A token is kindled in these flames.
Your coral is the heart of my violet spirit.
The fervent heat blazes in remembrance
Of our sensory union.

for a very special person.....

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2001-04-24 02:47 AM

wow..that one was nice...it summed up passion very well.

i think its a great poem and if you really want some advice i think that the only thing i could offer is to make it a bit longer...not that it isnt GREAT on its own!
about the title..well "burning passion" springs to mind...but i think that thats rather cliched and you might not like it..but sweet poem anyways..i hope that that helped you

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-04-24 11:38 AM

beautiful poem sarah...i really liked it
the poem itself was wonderful..the words,the emotions and the thoughts and how u put them in the poem..jus another one of ur masterpieces LOL..hehe..yea bye

on the title..
i have no idea,WAIT!!...

..............sorry thought i did but i really dont

and the length i liked it how it is.
i dont think a poem must be long
but jus able 2 get the meaning to the reader across efficiently is long enough as long as the reader gets the true beauty of what u were tryin say..anyways..cya

...?

death is not the greatest loss in life. the greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. -norman cousins

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-24-2001).]

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-04-24 03:52 PM

I enjoyed this very much. It really shows how you feel for the person. Well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

4 posted 2001-04-24 04:37 PM

Nice job on this, I think it expresses these emotions so deeply. Good job!

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

Terryloveiris_85
Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 61
The middle of nowhere

5 posted 2001-04-24 04:42 PM

This poem was nice.I liked it. It expresses feelings well. Nice job.

Iris

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-04-24 05:14 PM

You seem to be more emotional on this one. Like you pur your feelings more into this. Thanks for the beautiful read Sarah. keep it up

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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