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Teen Poetry #4
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Trapped
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Trapped |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
old poem back from 1999. wow, thats like 2 years ago.  -=Trapped=- yield your sword cant you see i cant escape? im tied, im trapped my forces suddenly snapped. i am weak and i am humble now your look makes me crumble. -San (you- wow San, this one rhymed.|san- yes i know. weird, huh?) San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
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| © Copyright 2001 Morouxshi San - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I liked this one, San... It's not so bad rhyming, is it? Kinda makes you have to try harder. Good job, as always. -Allan |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed reading your poem...James |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
How appropriate for the mood I'm in....I'm not sure if it really compares to some of the other thoughts you've written, but still, it was good. ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i like rhyme rhyme is my friend rhyme makes poems sound good i like rhyme i like this poem good job ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great, but not as good as your current poems. -Sweet-  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Yeah, ryhming, wow. This one is great San  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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The Lost Supertone Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
(The Lost Supertone fains a British Accent) Twas a Jolly good poem old bean! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I would appreciate a little insight to the poem San  I'm just wondering what situation caused you to write this poem thanks I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
hmm... lets see. around that time i think i felt like if i was being toyed around by this woman. somebody whom i had kept at bay for a while but could no longer. i kinda fell for her and then she started playing whith my feelings or whatever. i really have to check my journal and i cant find it. thing is that was technically what was going on during that time, just her, and then all her mind games and crap. i walked out of it stronger. thats why im glad i went through it in the first place (wouldnt do it again though) what happened to her after it was over? i see her every now and then, last time i saw her was like a month ago. hardly ever talk to her on the net or anything, she got really annoying. i almost forgot, the "yield your sword" part, normally when i refer to me or situations that happen in my life i use medieval accessories and/or situations (now go and rethink about "shining armor" )< !signature-->San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... [This message has been edited by Morouxshi San (edited 01-22-2001).] |
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